Oscillation between two mind sets

[creative_writer]

@Former-Member I can talk to a GP about it. I’ve only noticed it recently.

I am feeling the frustration kicking in again. Been find it hard to concentrate. I feel like I’m carrying so much hurt that I’m not sure what to do. It’s been so lonely to have to carry the trauma within me, I feel like others don’t understand. I am always afraid of others not believing me either

[creative_writer]

Anyone here?

[Former-Member]

Yep @creative_writer  

just jumped back online now. 
You alright hun?

[creative_writer]

@Former-Member I have so much going through my mind. A lot of confusion and hurt. I want to cry 😢

[Former-Member]

Sounds really tough right now @creative_writer 💜🌺

can you take space somewhere to cry? I’ll be right here online with you 🌺

[creative_writer]

@Former-Member I’m not alone at home. It’ll raise questions.

I know I’m safe rn. But none of us know the future, I’m scared of being hurt again

[Former-Member]

Sorry there’s not an opportunity to take space and release tears @creative_writer 💜🌺

I’m a bit concerned for you dearest.. are you at risk of harm? 💜

[creative_writer]

@Former-Member maybe once I go to bed.

I’m safe right now, but obviously my brain doesn’t seem to think so. Hypervilgiance lives with me, it’s there when nobody else is

[tyme]

We are here for you @creative_writer . 

I hear it is so hard for you right now. 

Hi @Former-Member  - hope you are okay.

[creative_writer]

@tyme I have lost too much 😢. I know I don’t need to carry this for the rest of my life, I’m figuring out a way I can let go, I also fear it may involve talking to someone about it a bit more, and it’s my sensitive spot. I’ve always been so guarded, holding back tears in therapy is normal for me. I find it hard to let that guardedness down because no one feels safe