Not Coping

[Birdofparadise8]

Hi @Jynx 

I get what you're saying, but what if they don't? That's all I can think about, and how lonely I will be with out them. We get on really well. 

I still can't stop crying. It feels like rejection and the same feelings and all that every other time it's been happening lately. 

[Former-Member]

Yes I think you’re right @creative_writer , nature can be very soothing indeed 🙂🌺

Yes, it’s easy to be concerned and think of different scenarios, as you’ve very well put.. getting ahead of oneself 🙂

I think the kind of person you’ve described is out there - I’ve known lots of husbands over the years from many different cultural backgrounds who have been very willing to care for their wives wellbeing, knowing that in doing so, they are rewarded with her happiness and affection 🙂🌺

one of the best husbands I knew was a kind man of traditional faith who had many children, had been married for many years, and yet still spoke of his wife like she was the centre of his world ☺️

It’s possible indeed to find the right person, who is happy to hold space for you 🌺

[Former-Member]

That connection is still there @Birdofparadise8 , just not expressed regularly till the person can come back here to the forums 🙂🌺 I have a feeling that things will pick up from right where they left off, and the reason I say that is because that person is a lovely and kind, caring and understanding person, who cares very much about your wellbeing - as we all do sweetheart 💜🙂🌺

And please know you can express your words here - your feelings are completely valid, and not upsetting, as well as being very understandable 🫂🌺

[Birdofparadise8]

I guess so. Yes, very much so. So very caring and kind. 

I appreciate you saying that. I didn't want to say the wrong thing. 

Well, another thing for my list when I see my psych tomorrow. 

Why I get so upset over this. @Former-Member 

[ArraDreaming]

What the helll you guys talking about

[Birdofparadise8]

Which bit @ArraDreaming 

@ENKELI having a break or me being upset about it.

[ArraDreaming]

I dunno

[Birdofparadise8]

Okay then @ArraDreaming 

If you read back, that might help.

[Jynx]

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@Birdofparadise8 wrote:

Hi @Jynx 

I get what you're saying, but what if they don't? That's all I can think about, and how lonely I will be with out them. We get on really well. 

I still can't stop crying. It feels like rejection and the same feelings and all that every other time it's been happening lately. 

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If they don't, then that will definitely suck. It will be hard. And you will get through it, as you have 100% of the time in the past. 

It makes sense that it feels like rejection, because your trauma response is overtuned to it! Like a faulty smoke alarm it will go off at the tiniest sign of rejection - even if it's not real rejection, but only perceived as such. It's like your brain is screaming 'fire' even though it was only a bit of burnt toast that set it off.

It will pass though, you will be ok - we got you. 

[Birdofparadise8]

That is true. 

How do I stop my brain from screaming 'fire.' It happens all the time, both with rejection and perceived rejection. I've mentioned it to my psych, but we just go over how it happened at school and throughout my life but don't get anywhere with it to stop it. @Jynx 

I like your perspective on this thank you. 

I've stoped crying. I've got Utopia on, so that's funny, and having some ice cream.