Need to vent

[Snowie]

Good afternoon @BlueBay 

Hoping your day has been going well for you

Lots of love 💗💗

[oceangirl]

Hi @BlueBay 

You're doing great. And thank you for keeping us in the loop. You can raise above these feelings. I hear you my sister. Take the time you need for your wellbeing. Do you have any news from your Drs- I hope you got some answers today.  

[NatureLover]

@BlueBay  yay for no pericarditis! 

Did your cardiologist give you advice about stopping /continuing the medication?

So lovely about that lovely nurse.

[BlueBay]

hi @NatureLover  yeah the cardiologist recommended i keep taking this medication for a month just in case there was a little bit of inflammation.  He then will see me in a months time, if the chest pains get less to none then i can stop this medication.  if the pains still continue i may need to take for 3 months.  just have to wait and see.  

i had to have an xray yesterday for my abdomen as i am still having pain.  he wants to see if i am very constipated as sometimes it can be impacted.  so i will see the physician today.  my psych increased the mood stabiliser last night.  i am hoping to leave here before the weekend, but he told me yesterday it may be the weekend or monday next week.  we'll see how i go.

it's so much trial and error with medication, everyone is so different, our side effects are different and our bodies are different.

i did a yoga and meditation session yesterday afternoon - OMG i almost fell asleep.  it was amazing, calming, restful and soothing. just what i needed!!

breakfast done, showered, dressed and waiting for a group which will be in an hour - hoping it will be a walk outside.  i need some fresh air.

love to all @oceangirl @NatureLover @Snowie @Anastasia @Eve7 @Owlunar @Shaz51 @Emelia8 

@MDT  and others following - 

i am sorry i haven't been on each individual posts, but pls know i do think of you all. xxxxxoooo

[NatureLover]

How are things going, @BlueBay ?

[Shaz51]

@BlueBay  Thinking of you lots today and sitting with you my sister xoxo 

[BlueBay]

I am sorry everyone for not replying earlier.  Few setbacks

1.  my AD was increased last week and it has been giving me hallucinations visual and auditory

2. visitors and leave was finally allowed last week.  i went home both sat and sunday but didn't feel excited or enthused

3. my emotions have been everywhere from crying in group therapy to yoga to crying in my room at night.  they are giving me a calmer to alleviate the distress.

4.  i have no motivation to do anything, i don't care about life 😞

i told my psych all this today as i was supposed to be discharged today.  but after hearing what i have been going through the past few days he has told me i am staying for at least a few more days and he will reduced my AD so hoping these hallucinations stop.  they are very scary.

my psych has requested that i don't do any type of groups and just to relax with yoga, sleep and try to rest my mind.

Let's see how things go.  I have bought some wool all different pinks so knitting little A a scarf.  Even she is missing me so much, she rings and says nonna when are you coming home, i miss you 😞

anyway better go, trying to lay down and have a little nap.  huby will pop in at 4pm to visit.

take care everyoone, i hope you are all doing fine or as best can be.

love to all  xxxooo

@Shaz51 @NatureLover @oceangirl @Snowie @Anastasia @Owlunar @Emelia8 @MDT @Bow and others i have missed 

[Shaz51]

Sending you lots of tender hugs my sister xoxo @BlueBay  and hope you are feeling a bit better soon ❤❤❤

[BlueBay]

Will I ever get better 

suicidal thoughts are not good while in hospital 

hearing voices of what to do 

I feel emotional exhausted @Shaz51 @NatureLover @Snowie @oceangirl @Anastasia @Emelia8 

[Emelia8]

@BlueBay 👀👂💓😔