Need to vent

[Eve7]

Take care @BlueBay 

Thinking of you. I am home alone too, only just had breakfast 🍳 so it’s a very slow start here.

💙🤗💙

[Shaz51]

take care @Eve7 , @BlueBay 

I have a very quiet day here today , mum and mr shaz have back to sleep 

and I am just sitting and relaxing 

[NatureLover]

Hi @BlueBay , hope your back and your headache are better today and that you feel stronger today...

[BlueBay]

hope you are feeling a little better @Eve7 

hi @NatureLover @Shaz51 @oceangirl @Emelia8 @Owlunar @Anastasia @MDT @Snowie and others following on reading

Update: - 

ok so big news - our house is almost ready to go on the market!!  we signed the contract yesterday afternoon, pictures will be taken in 3 days time; it goes live on the internet on tuesday or wednesday next week and first open will be sat week.  to say i am stressed and overwhelmed is an understatement!!!

we have a few little things to do before the photos on friday:

1.  clear out the kitchen bench so it looks bigger and tidy

2.  cleaned the butlers pantry out today

3. hubby needs to quickly oil the deck

4.  garden is fine it is all flowering and the japanese maple tree is still not losing leaves

5.  i need to clean bathroom tiles grout (but i will get hubby to do that as it will hurt my back)

6  buy some new bath mats and towels only for the inspection days (so they look good)

my back is still sore, i did some yoga stretches yesterday.  i have done 2 loads of washing and I have cleared out a section of the kitchen bench and put it into the butlers pantry.  

i better go and get some lunch, i am really not interrested in eating.  oh i ended up calling the CAT team earlier as i was so overwhelmed.  i cried myself to sleep last night and not sleeping well at all since home.

they are going to call my psych tomorrow befoe my appt tomorrow afternoon.

hope everyone is doing okay, i am sorry i haven't been on your own posts to reply.  it is just too much.

[Former-Member]

Hello @BlueBay,

Thank you for reaching out to the SANE Forums today! We are glad that you are here.

Is there anything that you need from the SANE community today?

Thank you

Butterfly Beauty 🙂 

[Snowie]

Hi @BlueBay 

Sounds like things are starting to happen.

I hope today has been kind to you

Lots of love 💗💗💗💗

[BlueBay]

Hi everyone

ended up at ER last night with a massive migraine, all my left side.  it took 5 hours to wait and they kept me in overnight.  lucky my younger son picked me up this morning before he started work.  

OK, now i need to vent about my mum - i am sorry but i am really really angry.  i know i said i wouldn't call her and i haven't called as often as i used to.  in fact the last call to her was two weeks ago.  but this morning i wanted to see if hubby and I could visit them so i could see my dad.  this is how the conversation went.

'hi mum, just wanting to come down on saturday to see you and dad'

'oh no, not for at least a few more weeks as you have been in hospital'

ok, you let me know when you are ready, then.

ok, better go and buy milk and bread at the shops (which are apprently covid free!!!)

WTF!!!! is she thinking - that now it's MY fault for me not been able to go and visit my dad.

how dare she use me as the excuse

i had to be negative to be admitted otherwise i would have been sent home

so actually all patients and staff in hospitals are all negative (you would hope!!!)

the angry part about me is - not saying to her that i had to be tested before admission

and that her going to the supermarket is more risk than me been in hospital

she also uses dad as an excuse saying today 'oh yeah he doesn't feel too good and doesn't want to see anyone'  WTF - another lie.  my dad is a very proud man, he would want to see he kids and grandkids.  

i can't stop crying, i want to throw things, smash things. and cry.

luckily i am seeing my GP at 11am and then my psychiatrist at 1pm.

i give up with my mum.  I am now stopping all calls to her and see what she does. It's a control thign with her, she wants the control.  Well she is not going to get it anymore with me.

because when 'she is ready for us to go over' - i am not going.  i will be busy that day.  two can play her game.  

and in fact my dad can still walk around and grab the phone and call me.  he is not disabled.  why doesn't he just do that.  pick up the phone and call his daughter.

rant over, i could go on and on 

and then i wonder why i get migraines 

i am done with her, i wanted to to ring back and tell her about my test beforer admission but i know her - she won't believe me. so i am not wasting my breath on her anymore.

@Snowie @Former-Member @NatureLover @Shaz51 @Eve7 @Emelia8 @Owlunar @MDT and so many others i have forgotten, sorry!!!

[Paperdaisy]

Hi @BlueBay I'm sorry this interaction with your Mum has brought up these feelings. Sounds like Mum has been very dismissive and not given you a chance to explain yourself. I'm glad to hear you'll be seeing your GP and Psychiatrist today and hopefully they can offer some support. Hopefully hubby is around to support you also? Is there something nice you can do for yourself today? 

Here with you 💝

[Shaz51]

I'm glad to hear you'll be seeing your GP and Psychiatrist today and hopefully they can offer some support. Hopefully hubby is around to support you also? I agree @Paperdaisy 

Ohh my sister @BlueBay you have soo much on your plate with everything at the moment , let your mum slide for little while and take one day at a time , I know it is hard and I am now learning that I can not tell my mum everything like I use to 

and you have a beautiful daughter to talk to every day xoxo

[Snowie]

Hoping your appointments went ok for you @BlueBay 

Sending lots of love your way 💜💜