Need to vent

[Snowie]

I hope he is able to get your present @BlueBay 

Thinking of you and sitting with you hon 💕💕

[Eve7]

I hope your mother hasn’t done that @BlueBay but if she has, well that sux!

Maybe she hasn’t and soon your Dad will have his gift.

💙💙

[oceangirl]

I don't understand why your dad would talk like that to you- either the parcel has arrived or not. Its fairly straight forward question, and its either yes or no. And a thank you for sending me a present. You're a beautiful person my sister. I hope you get to go home on Friday

@BlueBay 

[BlueBay]

That’s right @oceangirl  it should be a simple  yes or no answer.  And he didn’t say thanks for the present either. 
I know they would have received it by niw. I posted it on Monday. 

I’m expecting it to be posted back. 

it’s so hurtful. I’ve done everything right snd it hurts. 
stupid responses from him. 
@Eve7 @Snowie @NatureLover @Shaz51 @Emelia8 @Owlunar @MDT and Others 

[oceangirl]

@BlueBay 

Yes it is.

Any news from your tests you had last week?

Have you seen the cardiologist? 

Has your blood pressure come down?

Thinking of you my beautiful sister

I am attending day program tomorrow. 

[BlueBay]

hey @oceangirl 
No news on 24 heart monitor yet 

blood pressure is good ✅

waiting on results from today’s MRI. They marked it urgent. 
cardiologist still hasn't come to see me 

how did you go with the specialist? 

Great you’re doing outpatient xxxx

[oceangirl]

hey @BlueBay 

Glad your blood pressure has come down.

Hopefully not too much longer waiting for your tests results.. 

I'm doing outpatients from 9 til 2.30pm. 

I am still getting quite fatigued.

I forgot to mention I got a new referral to see a new specialist (psych)

He is new to the hospital and he is meant to be very good.

I am nervous but I am going to give him a go.

I struggle and have been very hurt over the years too

I bottle everything up and internalize things esp negative emotions

I will check in across the day my sister. 

[BlueBay]

Had a huge meltdown this morning 

so I’m not going home today 

it’s the withdraw of medication 

so emotional and negative 

can’t stop crying 

my psych wants me to stay until next week. 
I feel like such a failure 

I was ready and packed to go home but it hit me like a ton of bricks 

emotions coming out from nowhere 

I’m outside in courtyard getting some fresh air 

day 4 of new meds has hit me hard 

[NatureLover]

Oh no, @BlueBay  😞

I don't know how I survived my last change of meds. So I can empathise. 

I hope you can stand being in hospital for this...

[BlueBay]

hi my friends @NatureLover @oceangirl @Eve7 @Snowie @Shaz51 @Emelia8 @Owlunar @MDT @Anastasia and others following on

Update:

Yesterday was a wipe off.  Very depressed, down, emotinoal.  Once i was given a calmer med i slept for a while.  My psych was glad i made the decision to stay in, he really appreciated it. because he could very well see how i was.

then the physician came in and said that the ECG was good and that the MRI results were good too. they cyst on pancreas is still there but hasn't grown and it's not cancerous.  i was glad.  

later in the day the cardiologist finally came to see me.  i told him about the hospital episode two weeks ago and the holter monitor as well.  he said he will get the results and i said to him that at the local hospital ER they did a chest xray but never told me the results.  well now you can go on mygov and have a look. which i did and showed him the findings.  it mentioned the words pulmonary hypertension and some other long medical terms.  he read it and explained that the lining of my heart is inflammed (could be from Covid) but not sure.  so he is ordering an echocardiogram asap and has started me on a new medication for this issue.  that could be the reason why i am so tired.

i had a long chat last night to a nurse and she just listened to me vent and get my anger out.  i was sobbing so much.  she asked if she could give me a hug.  Wow that was all i needed to hear.  she gave me a big big hug and i cried.  it was nice of her to do that. because apparently the nurses are not allowed to hug patients!!

Oh my mum rang home this morning and said thanks to hubby as dad received my present.  Good i am glad.  but the weird part of this is that every single time i have been in hospital she phnes me on my mobile. she would call every day to see how i was.  but this time she has called home, like she is avoiding me.  it's weird strange but i am not going to worry about it.

so now i have asked hubby if he could buy me some pink wool so i can knit little A a scarf for winter.  she asked me this morning when she rang.  at least i will have something to do.  i can't read my book, just can't concentrate.  i have done a lot of colouring in.  

well the sun is out, the birds are chirping.  i might go and grab a second coffee and sit outside on the huge deck area.  need some fresh air.

i hope you are all okay and going along as best you can.  i am sorry i haven't replied to your own posts. but know i do care.

love to all xxxxxxxxxooooooo