My Mosaic

[Bow]

Feel like I’m stuck in a bit of a rut @amber22  ever since getting outta hospital I’ve been struggling with lack of motivation to do anything. Yesterday I finally got myself back on the treadmill but that’s cause I’ve got so blinking fat. 
I set up a new paint by numbers days ago. But I haven’t done any of it. I use to spend hours doing that. 
my plants badly need watering or I’m gonna lose more of them. 
I have a heap of paintings to hang. 
I have some really nice new puzzles that I could do.

I have a heap of Lego projects I could also do. 
my personal hygiene is not good. 
my daughter went to her fathers this afternoon after school. I’ve just curled up in bed and been scrolling on my phone. Feeling oh so sad. Alone. 

[amber22]

Hey @Bow 

It seems like you're going through a lot right now. It sounds like you're really self aware of when things get bad for you though, and you can see the warning signs. 

Would picking one thing on that list you've just written out to me and getting it done be something that could help right now? 

How about you pick watering your plants if it's not too cold right now? It could be something you achieve for today. It's okay if your to do list looks a little bit different when you're feeling this way, maybe focussing on one thing a day to do might be what has to happen for the next little bit, and that's okay. Everyday looks different 

[Bow]

Yeah ok. I can try and do that… water my plants.
Thanks

[Bow]

I managed to get out and water my plants @amber22 really need to get out and clean up outside a bit. 

[NatureLover]

Well done for getting out and watering your plants @Bow  when you were feeling like you did yesterday. Really hope today is better for you... 💜 🤞

[Snowie]

@Bow wishing you a good day hon.

Sending lots of love 💜💜

[Bow]

Thanks @Snowie @NatureLover  today has been a little bit better… so far anyways. Got on the treadmill this morning and then I cleaned my daughters room 😩  I really don’t know what to do about her room. Think I’ve just been such a terrible mother for too long and allowed her to get away with leaving her room is such a messy state and then it gets to the point where I have to step in and give it a good clean out. 
anyways I got it cleaned before I went to my gp appointment. My blood pressure was better today. Need to get my electrolytes and liver function test done early next week. She asked the usual… are you safe…. Are you at risk to yourself. I just nodded. 

[Snowie]

I just shut the door to my kids rooms @Bow, especially my son!

Glad to hear you have been a little better today. Seems like you have accomplished some things too which is always good.

I hope the rest of today goes well for you too 💕

[Bow]

Oh I do that too @Snowie …. Shut the door. It has to stay shut all the time cause of the dog anyways. But every time I open it for whatever reason, I feel my anxiety rise.
I’ve given her a washing basket, but she can’t even put her dirty clothes in there… just leaves them on the floor where she takes them off. She use to have a bin…. I need to go find where it went to and put it back. she has way too much Lego. She has way too much stuff all together really. She gets spoilt… I’m going to cut back. 

In other news…. We found out this afternoon that a cousin of mine passed away this afternoon. He had many disabilities and it was expected. But still sad. My mums nephew. If my mum could, she would go to the funeral. So had thought that I may go. I’d just go to the service. That would be all I could socially handle. But will depend what day it is on. I’d take daughter along for the drive, it’s about 2 hrs away I think, maybe longer. 

[Snowie]

Kids @Bow They really know how to push our buttons sometimes!! D is good at putting her washing in the laundry but S is still a work in progress.

I'm sorry to hear about your cousin. Even though it is expected, it is still hard to deal with. We are having to do about a 6 hour round trip for the funeral we are going to on Thursday. I would stay there the night, but mum has an appointment the next morning that I have to go to with her.

I find the social aspect of funerals hard too. But will put my big girl pants on, take some prn, and deal with it somehow.

Wishing you a good day today hon. Sending lots of love 💌💌