My Mosaic

[tyme]

Hey @Bow ,

It's a bit like that, isn't it. 

I hear the battle and how tiring it is. 

As much as you want an out, you have your family to remember. You have your strengths to celebrate. There is so much ahead of you. 

It is not an uncommon path. Others (including myself) have been on that path. It was HARD. Damn hard... yet life after tells me it's worth it.

Hang in there. You CAN do it.

[outlander]

 @Bow 

[Bow]

I wasn’t honest today. Am I ever???

[Jynx]

@Bow Sometimes honesty is really hard hun, and it can feel more threatening to be honest even if we know that we ought to be doing so for our best interests. 

Anything you wanna chat about this arvo, get off ya chest?

[Bow]

Yeah honesty is super scary. Knowing that if I’m honest when they ask me questions they will respond in certain ways. Do certain things. 

don’t think I can say things @Jynx  without you removing it. So won’t bother 😩

[Jynx]

@Bow things sound like they're getting to a pretty intense point for you hun. Enough so that you're worried about the outcome if you were to be open about it. Is it to do with your mum coming home soon you reckon? 

Is there anyone on your treating team you do feel you could be more open with? 

[Bow]

Think they are @Jynx … no I don’t think I know. 
mum came home yesterday. 

things started crashing pretty intensely about a week ago. I had that loss anniversary, I was heaps frustrated about folks not getting back to my numerous messages that I left for some additional support with my ED and just completely fed up and over everything, I’m tired of fighting, tired of waking up to absolute dread every morning. 

I kinda told my psych last week of plans for when mum got home. I wasn’t completely honest about stuff though. I doubt I’ll tell anyone. And I doubt they will remember anyways. Information doesn’t seem to get passed along. My support worker asked me today if I would be honest with her if things got to a certain point and I said probably not. That was after I was already dishonest about a number of other questions she asked me. She said she was gonna call my temp CM and just give her a heads up that I ain’t ok and that my intake is bad again. Been expecting a call from her all afternoon- but nothing. 

[Jynx]

@Bow aww hun, I can understand how bone-weary and fed up that can leave us feeling - trying to hold on, trying to reach out, and not getting any response from people who are supposed to be there for support. 

I'm worried about you hun, especially about plans and about how things seem to be in a steep decline - keep an eye out. 

How do you feel about your mum being home? 

[Snowie]

@Bow sitting with you hon ❤️ 

[Bow]

Thanks @Snowie  appreciate it. Read somewhere that you are doing some better and hopefully hope on Saturday. Glad to read hon.