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Something’s not right

My Mosaic

Re: My Mosaic

I’ll be there at least a week @Bow  and I will return for Mum’s birthday in mid April.

 

Recovery is a journey which is usually longer than initially planned!

 

I’m having leftover Spaghetti Bol for dinner with water rather than wine.

Bow
Senior Contributor

Re: My Mosaic

When people say …. ‘Will you give me your word…..’ what do you think? Feel?  😩

Re: My Mosaic

Instant anxiety @Bow !!

 

Are you ok?

Bow
Senior Contributor

Re: My Mosaic

No

 

in a scary I don’t care headspace

Re: My Mosaic

I'm sorry to hear about what you're experiencing right now @Bow. Sitting here and with you through this, as I'm sure many others are too, 💝

If that scary feeling is something that's distressing or you're concerned for your safety, please don't hesitate to reach out for further support. 

Bow
Senior Contributor

Re: My Mosaic

I seen my gp today. Wanted to talk to her but the nurse was present helping her. 
then went and seen my case manager. Told her where my head is at. But she just sent me on my way. 
kinda like I don’t care..: and they don’t care. Matching. Nevermind. 😩

Re: My Mosaic

Hear you @Bow 

 

Sitting with you. It's so hard to feel dismissed and unheard.

Bow
Senior Contributor

Re: My Mosaic

I feel really overwhelmed tonight. I feel like there are too many people around. I struggled when I had no one, when I felt unheard and unseen. Now there is too many. And I’m just letting them all down cause I feel so done. Ripped all my dressings off tonight. Don’t care.  Going to cancel appointments with my gp. Don’t care. Will cancel dietitian appointment cause I don’t care. I took my meds nearly 2 hrs ago and I’m still awake. They increased my meds a few weeks ago to help

with my sleep but it’s done nothing. Think I’ll take some more. I just wanna sleep. Disappear. 

Re: My Mosaic

The psychiatrist here has changed all my meds while in here @Bow . Given I have never seen a psychiatrist b4 its probably been a worthwhile exercise. He put me on a mood stabilizer which is known to help with nightmares, without lowering BP, which the other one I was on previously, did. Not on it for the mood stabilizer effect, but on a relatively low dose (off label use) for help with preventing nightmares. They seem to work for me 🎉. Wish I could tell you the name of the med, because I know you too have the issue of low BP that I do.  Perhaps you could ask your pdoc about that? The name starts with a T and the pills are tiny little things. Wondering how you are going in regard to nightmares now, or whether they have now passed for you.

 

I have weaned off my previous AD, which I was really put on for chronic pain, but also because I was having thoughts of suicide. I am now on a good dosage of AD which also happens to be useful for sleep, so I'm told. I have found it good for getting to sleep, but I am slill waking up every night between midnight and 3am. Usually numerous times.

 

I am going home Friday morning. Mixed feelings around that. 

 

Anyway, returning to you. I am hearing you, and think I can understand your reasons for overwhelm. I too am feeling a building feeling of overwhelm, but my reasons I think are different to yours on this occasion. One thing I will ask of you though, is to please replace the dressings you ripped off earlier. The last thing you need, or any of us want, is for your wounds to become (or to remain) infected. I care about you, and I know many others do too. Please take care.

 

Emelia

Re: My Mosaic

Sending hugs, @Bow  and @Emelia8 ...

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