I'm in a nest

[CheerBear]

Don't worry about it

[CheerBear]

(Adding an edit to clarify - I mean what I jsut said was not helpful). I can't do this right now. I was being careful where I walked around here and it hit anyway. I feel bad. No idea what I have done but I am not able to fix this one right now

Thank you both for trying to help

[Former-Member]

@CheerBear You didn't do anything wrong. I'm going to write what I think and really hope that we can honestly and caringly sort it out. I'm someone who needs to clear the air especially when it's just misunderstandings. 

Please please put me in my box if I'm wrong. 

I think @Spookytookims and I were trying so hard to help you the other night and were so heavily invested in helping you but we weren't helping much. I think what happened next is you reached out to those who were helping and we got hurt feeling you were pushing us away or that we were making it worse. @Spookytookims please tell me if you saw it differently. 

The thing that helped me get through was that I've been in your position lots before and have in moments of great distress ignored some members unintentionally and gravitated to one or two that were helping at the time. I've also just dropped out which is hard for others too. I think sometimes it goes with the territory of being in crisis on the forum but there are times that people get hurt. I have found myself do it a bit lately because I'm struggling to cope and I have great guilt for those I feel like I've hurt and there are a few.  

Im writing this and sticking my neck out because I want you to both feel that I get what you are both feeling and that it's ok and totally fixable. I'm also highly likely to have it all wrong and projecting my stuff, inwhich case I'd really like to be gently told that. I'm also writing this because I care for you both. 

Sending hugs and hoping like hell I haven't caused more damage. 💜🤗💐

[CheerBear]

Not sure if you missed the posts that got removed tonight @Former-Member. While I am very sorry that whatever thing was going on for someone else spilled into phoenix_risings wave, I am kind of glad someone else saw it too, so I don't feel like I am seeing things.

I apologise that in my time of exceptional whirlpooling, I struggled to find the headspace to consider and respond to every post. I have attempted to reassure anyone who has worried they haven't been helpful, that actually they are. I have meant that.

I have respected the rights of someone who told me they needed to take a step back. I asked whether it was ok to say hi somewhere else, and the answer I got was confusing and short. So not wanting to create any further damage, especially given my emotionally charged state, I have left it alone.

I have felt uncomfortable since then, particularly with some posts I have had to double take on, but thinking that life feels uncomfortable all around for me at the moment, maybe it was just me. I have also questioned why, if I am happy to let some dust settle, that shouldn't be respected. And now I feel like not only should I have not let that dust settled, that for some reason it was my responsibility to have clarified something that I wasn't even sure existed in the first place.

As I said, not so ok to be doing this after the big wave that hit that now no-one can see. But there's my attempt

[outlander]

I get exactly where your coming from @CheerBear i dont know whats been going on or the convos that has tajen place byts its sounding very familiar so im hearing you and where you are coming from

[CheerBear]

@Former-Member - ps your post before would have taken a massive amount of courage. There is no chance I could have been that brave.

I appreciate your attempt to help this, I really do.

[Former-Member]

So sorry @CheerBear no I've missed it all. Ive put my foot right in it all. I'm usually up on it a bit better but I've been out tonight. Please please take no offence to what I said. I totally get it. I'm so sorry things got so badly off track for you. Whirlpools are impossible to deal with because as we know our rational thinking brain has well and truly left the station. I'm not wanting to add to it and really don't need a response but just wanted to acknowledge and apologise for putting my foot in it. I hope it sorts itself out once I take my hoof out. 

Im so sorry if I caused you any more distress.💜💐

[CheerBear]

You haven't caused me distress @Former-Member. I am thankful someone has offered to help because sitting here alone feeling like I was wasn't great.

I am sure that you have a very kind heart. And getting to know you better, I can see you questioning yourself a lot which I feel sad about, because your warmth shines always. And honestly, that was courageous and I am feeling reassured that there is someone out there willing to try and sort out big stuff that happens here when they see it. This one I am not sure is best sorted out here, or now especially for me.

I've been doing my best to tread carefully and manage my own stuff too. And I am genuinely sorry if that's hurt anyone.

[Former-Member]

Sitting here with you @CheerBear 💜💕👋
I noticed that you're still awake and wanted to let you know that I'm here with you. 😺🐻

I hope that you'll be able to relax soon and sleep.

Hi to @Former-Member too 👋💟💕

[CheerBear]

You're up late @Former-Member!

Thank you for coming past. I'm still working on that rainbow blanket. It's been a nice thing to do tonight while the LF snore.

Hope you're ok (that's both a question and a statement that you're welcome to reply to or not) 🙂