Enigma

[Former-Member]

You are an amazing strong person @Former-Member 💜

Youve been through so much with hubby and your daughter and you still remain positive. 

So disheartening to watch your daughter go through such a bad relationship again. And not be able to do anything. I hope you are able to live your life happily and hopefully soon she’ll wake up. 

I just picked daughter up. So hopefully sleep for me soon. 

It was a nightmare, re her health, but we are coming out of it  

I remember clearly when the specialist said to us. “I don’t know how to tell you this”.  We both burst into tears and couldn’t believe what we heard. I cried for weeks. We couldn’t believe it. 

But we try to pretend it’s not real. That’s how we cope. 

Sometimes she tells me that she’s scared of d y I n g. That’s hard to hear. But she’s mostly positive and we will continue to move forward just like you do. 

My my mind is going blank, must be switch off time. Hopefully you’re asleep. 

Chat soon. 

Night night. 💜🌸🌺

[Former-Member]

I meant to say hi to you too @Appleblossom ❤️

Im just about to try and sleep. Just wanted to say, I did read your message, but my brain has switched off now and I can’t think about a reply just now. 

Sorry to read about your family situation. 

Night night. 😴

[Appleblossom]

I believe you about your daughter's bf. @Former-Member I remember your posts over the last few years. I did not mean to question your concerns, or yours @Former-Member I am sorry that your family are going through serious health issues and I did not mean to derail conversation.  Wishing your daughter the best in her operation.

I can see a huge range of males and levels of maturity and ethics (as with females)  Its just me seeing what my teen years might have looked like from others' pov.   Its hard for me to grapple with discernment, judgement and stigma. I was a bit knee jerk in reactions of defending people, needing to rescue and but getting burnt.  I think I am just starting to talk about my teenage feelings and responses which I did not do back then.  I was a sponge for other's opinions, whether teachers, girlfriends or mother.  Better late than never. I hope you dont mind. It just popped out of me, "seeing" your daughter in my past.  Of course the situations are very different too. 

My relationship with mother was complex and formal, but she was more interested in social dominance games than healing separation and trust issues from the times she went AWOL or the deaths of my brother and sister.  She was also extraordinary in her way and battled Dx of schizophrenia and gained very good function at the end of her life, just not good with me, her oldest. She died 4 years ago. 

I like hearing about your beading and craft.  

Am playing Bach on recorder atm.

[Former-Member]

I’m having trouble getting to sleep. 

@Appleblossom

It’s totally fine that you talk about your feelings/thoughts etc. 

its good that you are able to think about your teenage years and about your family etc. 

I can tell that not much sense is going to come from my reply, as I’ve just taken more sleep meds. 

I wanted to send a brief reply to you though. 

Night night again. ❤️😴

[Former-Member]

Hi @Former-Member@Appleblossom - I just realised something and I don't know how it happened. Our conversation was taking part on page 53 on this thread - in the middle of it lol!! How odd aha. Not sure how that happened, so will try and remember what you both said and reply. Please forgive me if I overlook anything.

@Appleblossom - I too am glad you are opening up about your feelings as a teenager. Things can be seen so more clearly in hindsight. Sounds like you had a tough one like mine. Because of the abuse I endured I was "lost" as a teenager. They are the only words I can find. I had a drinking problem and was reckless. Some of my boyfriend mothers "warned them about me"! I remember one asking me to marry him - he was a university student studying law and he really did love me. But my mindset was far too troubled to even consider marriage. He defied his prominent parents as he would of done anything for me. I understand what you mean about coming to the defence of teenagers. They did not have a clue what I was enduring at home.

Its good that you are intergrating your feelings of back then and I am pleased you feel safe enough here to do so. A good thing. Aren't we sooo much different now when we look back. Do you find that? I am a totally different person. I have not touched a drop of alcohol since 28 years old. And I have more confidence in myself. I could never go back...

My daughter's partner is 29, she is much younger at 22 and she seems to be attracted to dangerous men which is a concern to me - but now I have to remain positive and let her go abit for both our sakes. She has to make wiser choices for things to get better for her and she is the only one that can do that. I can't get through.

Thank you @Former-Member for your kind words. I do understand your initial shock, denial, anger and grief at the beginning of the diagnosis and the prospects of the future living with an illness. And we do find ways of coping with it. Sounds like you are both doing well with not letting it dominate your thoughts or lives. We do the same and get on with it best we can and move forward. The stress is still there but I deal with it differently.

I spoke to my friend whose husband is back in hospital due to pneumonia- related to his chemo treatment for terminal cancer. She is shattered. I have never heard her like this before....I will be seeing her most days now as she needs me. It's so hard to watch people I love go through this...so very hard. Cherish life while we can, is my thinking now.

Just wanted to mentioned @outlander@Former-Member@Appleblossom@Shaz51@Former-Member - that if I am tagged on any other thread I won't receive the notification and won't see it as I have disabled this function. Not sure if anyone has done this but wanted to mention it just in case. I only occasionally post here when time permits and to new members occasionally as well - so if anyone wants to chat to me they will have to post here. I like to hear from you all and hope you do so 😘

Its so wet and cold here, not much chance of getting out today. Hope your weekend is going well and is relaxing. I hope the rain here will let up so I can get out again soon. Thanks @Appleblossom, for your kind comments on my beading and stitching - I got a lot done in the last few days of my latest projects - counted 800 beads. It is looking pretty and it's fun - half way through now so it won't be long before it is finished and I have photos displayed here for any who are interested.

@outlander - how is the weekend with the siblings? Is it still wet and cold where you are? Doesn't do much for injuries does it? Thinking of you all. ❤️ Enigma

[Former-Member]

Dear @Former-Member.  Really sorry to hear about your friends husband being back in hospital. Such a difficult time for him, her and subsequently (as a caring friend) you too.  Sounds like you're going to have your hands full for a while.

Okay got you about the disabling the tag facility.  I wasnt aware you could even do that?  I have this thread set up as a favourite now.  Not sure what that does different to subscribing to it?  I used to subscribe to a number of threads but was unable to keep up with all the notifications.  So have only as of yesterday set them to Favourites instead.  I guess if nothing else, at least I can find them easily when I want to.  I know where to find you if I need to chat anytime. 

Meanwhile take things as easy as you can while things are difficult for you and others.

Also thinking of you too @Former-Member @Appleblossom @Shaz51 @outlander.

Sherry 

[Former-Member]

Hello dear @Former-Member

So wonderful to hear from you. Thank you for your kindness and support re my friend. I was concerned what to say there as I did not want to upset you. Please let me know if anything I say triggers as that is the last thing I want. My hands are full - but will always make time to those who post here. You, them mean a lot to me too. My friend currently is shattered - I just hope I can ease her pain. She does look forward to hearing from me but keeps saying there is nothing anyone can do. But the moral support helps her I feel.

I went into my profile and hit "my subscriptions" - there was the notifications email settings and I went into that and disabled tags in other threads. I only stick and read this one now and new members. I did notice the favourites thread - not sure what that does. I do know if one subscribes to a thread they get immediate notification of all posts from any member on that thread if I have noted that correctly.

Yes, you can find me here. I am not on here alot any more but will answer anyone on here who needs to chat. Hope to hear from you from time to time my friend 💜❤️💜❤️🌹

[Shaz51]

@Former-Member  sorry to hear about your friends husband being back in hospital.

Hugs @Former-Member

[Former-Member]

Thank you @Shaz51

My friend was on the phone last night crying - she said she can't stand to see her husband suffer so. I know what distress that brings. My worry is they both "want to give up" - he was refusing all treatment a couple of days ago. 😥 I am pushing them to keep fighting. Makes me realise how precious life is and the simple things.....Thanks for being there. 

Hope your health good and Mr Shaz is improving. ❤️

[Shaz51]

It is soo good that your friend can talk to you and that you are there for her @Former-Member, sometimes they just need someone to talk too , let it all out , sometimes they might say things they don`t mean

wonder how they are today? , and sending you hugs @Former-Member and remember your sef care too my friend , sitting with you