Over The Edge

[Former-Member]

Busy day ahead for you @Former-Member ❤️

I don’t know where to start re how I am. 😮😫🤔😊

Life is very stressful and I try to cope the best I can. Which isn’t too great lately. 

Daughter is brave and a fighter. Waiting for operation for her, not related to previous diagnosis, but very serious. 

We try to ignore diagnosis. Seems unreal. 

I’m waiting for specialist apt, possible operation. Had an abnormal pap. 

Like you, things get thrown at us at fast speed, so I guess I try and numb myself and try and move forward. And take things a step at a time. 

Anxiety high, panic attacks in sleep. 

On a a positive note. Daughter has been getting distinctions at uni. Making friends and trying to move forward. 

Sometimes she gets very scared and says, I don’t want to d i e. That’s hard to hear. But mostly she’s amazing how she continues on with her plans. She wants a job too, but I’m not encouraging it at the moment. Going to uni is plenty for now. 

I have to let her make her own decision on that one though. 

Its very vital for her not to stress. 

Hows hubby and your daughter?

When I feel up to it , I will read back on this thread, if you don’t feel like repeating yourself. 

Have a a good day. 💜☕️🌸🌷

Hi again @outlander 💜

I noticed your “hello” on other thread. Thought I’d say hi here instead. 

I need to get moving soon. ☕️🌷

[outlander]

Morning @Former-Member

Good to hear your starting to feel better ❤ the weathers crappy here so a good day for cleaning but im not up for it.
Ooh not long now. The long wait is almost over


Oh @Former-Member that is really full on. I hope the surgury for D comes about soon and that you dont have to have one as well. Good to hear positive things are happening though. And saying good morning here is fine ❤


Goodmorning @Shaz51 @greenpea @Appleblossom @oceangirl ❤

[Former-Member]

Hi @Former-Member - it does sound like a very stressful time for both you and your daughter - I am not surprised you are feeling anxious. I think I would too. But the upside is that they can do something for your daughter to ensure quality of life!! She has the will that will see her through and go onto great things. A whole life in front of her. When does the op take place?

I had a friend where they found something in a Pap smear. It was not 100 percent but they went ahead and lazered it (I think) just to be on the safe side. She was sore for a few days then was feeling great. When is your op? I hope they aren't too close together. You will both get through with renewed life. Focus on that and you will sleep better. 

Congrats to daughter for obtaing distinctions and on making friends at uni (thought she would 😊). She is a hard and determined worker - she will go far and make the most of her life. That's what it is all about - and she could not of done it without you. You would be feeling proud. There is a certain peace that comes from knowing our children are fighters on the right path.

My daughter has veered off presently, but she will work it out sooner rather than later. She wants to do nursing now - we will see. But she does want to better herself which is a good thing. She is still with the creep though - will have to have patience there. Her eyes will open again one day and she will move to better people.

My husband was going well, he has been feeling a bit off colour the last few days but I think it's due to stress. He has been worrying about our friend with four stage cancer and with the house selling etc, he likes all finances in order. That's just him where I go with the flow.

I see the doctor last week for blood results as I was feeling very tired and unwell. I thought it was my thyroid. Turns out I was severely Vitamin D deficient which can make someone quite sick, weak bones, chronic fatigue and depressed etc. I have been taking compound D and it's starting to take effect. I feel much better. I was getting out in the sun for beach walks etc, but the sunscreens was preventing my body for absorbing any D vitamin, something to be wary off. I can't believe how sick it made me together with bone pain and lack of it has been linked to certain cancers. So glad I got it now.

Was so good to chat with you. Did you go on the cruise? I had been thinking of you. Am popping off now to do a winter clean lol, and will be back on here tonight. Look forward to chatting again and please keep me updated re the ops and how you are both doing 😘 xx

@outlander - the weather here is rainy too - hope your hand gets better soon so you can get back into things. Any plans for the weekend? I will pop back on tonight xxx ❤️

[outlander]

No real plans here @Former-Member just watching the kids mostly. Its a long weekend here so have them an extra day so far

Hope todays a good one for you ❤

[Shaz51]

glad to hear you are starting to feel better @Former-Member 

sending you hugs @Former-Member and thinking of you xx

Hello @outlander, @greenpea, @Appleblossom

[Former-Member]

Daughters op is for something else serious. Other diagnosis, nothing can be done for that. 😢

Not sure re if I’m having op yet. 

I hope your daughter moves on from the creep. Sometimes mine hangs out with creeps. It’s hard to watch. She wakes up and moves on fairly quick, but I know what you mean. Hard when they won’t listen. 

I see straight away what they’re like. She doesn’t like being alone, I guess being an only child is why. 

There are alot  of jerks around. 

She’s met someone recently who seems ok. I hope. He’s an achiever and works hard etc. we’ll see. Doesn’t have much time though. 😮

No cruise. I tried organising a trip, but got too stressed. Tried organising few days away, got too stressed. So I’m feeling quite useless and hopeless lately. 

Daughters diagnosis, appointments etc and finding out there’s no cure really drained the life out of me and I’m finding it really difficult to get over it all. 

I have to though. 

Shes a fighter. I need to as well. 

Hard for you too. I’m glad the vitamin D is helping. I take it as well. Plus B’s and ???? Exercise etc.  

@Former-Member  💜

[Appleblossom]

Hello Ladies

OMG ...insight ... listening to you mothers about your daughters ... my mother probably thought I hung around with creeps in my teens ... tho "creep" was not one of her words.   lol ... She had filled me with so much talk about love being hard work and pain ... that I thought my job was to love my partner even though I did not really like him.   If I heard a girl saying someone was a creep, I immediately jumped to the creep's defence!  Der ...all unconscious stuff about rescuing the dead father .... no wonder I got into weird situations. I was also alone, solidly working, studying and helping her for long enough to have earned plenty of respect before I married.  I was not oppositional, but left to focus on survival, but she was vengeful hiding behind endless statements about forgiveness. She never forgave me for being alive.  I am sure you are different in that aspect with your girls. It has taken me so long to get conscious about gender roles and any norms in society.

My daughter just had to get away from all the confusion.  I have to love her from a distance.

Maybe its like over corrections ...mother was very snobby about men ...always condescending ... even though she had no education ...I guess it was her defence ....ah ... the eternal feminine.  

Recently read in sister's file about how mother seemed very loving to my sister's social worker.  I was so aware of the pressure on mother as young as 6 and all the way through. She did not reciprocate (ever). She wanted me to help her get the children back from welfare and I helped in that but it was not good for them or I.  That is the guilt I felt about their deaths, not that I did anything bad to them.  Remaining "in care" may not have been a better outcome... just a different tragic story.

Sorry .... I am trying not to be resentful but with insight ... not just superficially shaking off bad feelings ...and being cheerful... but integrating it ...if you know what I mean ...

Better go and make pancakes.

Not up to my plans ... keeping it very simple.

Take care @Former-Member and friends.

[Former-Member]

Hi @Appleblossom - I have been having a simple weekend so far, cleaned out more cupboards, cooked chunky vege soup, listened to some of my favourite 70s songs and did some beading work on my present cross stitch project whilst watching a lifetime true story movie (my favourite channel at the moment). It was relaxing. Yum pancakes - I love them with banana and Canadian maple syrup.

Sounds like your relationship with your mother was strained - is she still alive? You mentioned that she wanted you to help get back the children from welfare? Where they your brothers? What happened there? I hope you don't mind me asking - just trying to envision the full picture of what you were saying. Must of been such a horrendous time for you.

My daughter's partner was previously inside for 4 years for bashing his last partner. He also uses heavy drugs. He treats my daughter like dirt - that's why I call him a creep. He is one. And I can't get through to my daughter to get away from him. She tried once and he lured her back. It is hard knowing that she is moving in with someone so dangerous but I have done all I can. I just have to love her and be there to pick up the pieces. I have to love her from a distance too.

Sorry you are not up to your plan @Appleblossom - how are you feeling? Simple is sometimes good - I found this out today, it was simple but relaxing. Hope your whole weekend has been for you too. Here for you xxxx

[Former-Member]

I did not realise your daughter had another serious health issue @Former-Member. That would be soo hard for both of you. Your daughter's strength of character is admirable for one so young. When do you see the GP or specialist to discuss whether you need an op or not? Please keep me updated as I will be thinking of you.

Its a good thing your daughter wakes up quickly when she recognises a guy isn't so nice or good for her. Mine tends to stay way too long in abusive relationships - this has been the case since she was sexually abused - her self esteem is so low. I have tried to encourage her to seek counselling but to no avail. I just have to be there for her now but at the same time live my own life. Hopefully she will wake up sooner than later and get away from this creep.

I can understand how draining it is with all the medical interventions, appts - and then to be told there is nothing they can do. It really does become disheartening. But the fighting spirit your daughter has will defy the odds. With you fighting beside her you both cannot lose.

I have had to do so much of the above throughout my life and there did reach a time that I felt so very tired......didn't think the sun would shine again and felt very overwhelmed by it all wondering at times if I could get through another day. But the sun did shine again, and although there are still some bad days and difficult moments the good now outweighs it. It really is worth the battle. Keep fighting my friend as better days are ahead. 

Any plans for tomorrow? Sweet dreams my dear and to you sweet @outlander. I hope you had a good day with your siblings. Do you have them again tomorrow?. Will speak to you then too see how you are going 😘 xxxxxxx

[Former-Member]

Hi @greenpea - would love to see a pic of the scarf you are doing for your son when he visits from Europe. When are you expecting him?. It's very exciting - looking forward to hearing all about it when he arrives. Going for walk/run at that wee hours of the morning. Would be invigorating xx