Lived Experience Forum

[Bubbles3]

I thought i would start this up because many people have dream for in the future but what about today. What do you want or wish for or dream for today.

Or it could be dreams for the near future 

One of mine atm is to have a peacefull night , having time to myself while everyone is in bed. Then have my meds in a few hour and have a big sleep in tomorrow morning.  Thats what i wish for

[NatalieS]

Big Hugs @Bubbles3

Now that hubby is out of hospital after 27? days, I want him to be safe when I'm not there. He is on oxygen 24/7 and his cognitive skills are deteriorating, so as I attempt to work through the community nursing information and potential aged care assessment, my mind is constantly whirring so it feels like my head is about to explode. So I'm hoping to have some down-time for me every day where I can just "be".

I want time and space to get out everyday and see or do something good for me.  I still continue to work full-time as I need the people and support there, but I just want to experience those small pops of  joy that give my life meaning such as nature, sounds, tastes,feelings and personal interactions with people that connect with my soul (can't think of any other word) indicating that I too need care, and that I'm not just an extension of my husband and his care requirements.

Take care.   

[Former-Member]

I hear you both @Bubbles3 @NatalieS It's the day to day that has been difficult for me for too long. I no longer have much in the way of long term goals that are going to be actually achievable given my health issues. 

Each evening I try to think of something for me to focus on doing and achieving the next day, so I can go to bed with a more peaceful mindset. I have a notebook by my bed and if I think of something I want to remember for what ever reason, I note it down no matter the time or light levels. I've gotten good at writing in the dark! LOL

it might be as simple as deciding to make a cake to use up the bananas that weren't so tasty this shopping trip. This has multiple layers to it - using the bananas instead of wasting them by throwing them out, and doing something creative which is the cooking (I have a tried and true failsafe recipe that I make double quantities of), plus I get to put some cake away in the freezer for another day when I don't feel like cooking but need a treat. 

Or it might be housework job that I want to achieve, perhaps a sewing project, or crochet time. 

My daily goals have become very small and very achievable to fit my abilities. One day I realised that dreams seldom come to fruition and perhaps I'd be better getting off that bandwagon and using the term goals for myself. Would a similar change work for either of you do you think?

It's easy to get caught up in the idealistic meaning of sayings that have little to do with what our daily lives are really like. I found that caused me more pain and angst trying to fit in and do things right than it was helpful. 

It's very difficult to find that balance between your expectations and the expectations others have of you. I hope I've helped in at least some small way. 

[NatalieS]

Well said, @Former-Member

Sometimes the big picture stuff is too overwhelming. That is why I don't set long term goals because of the home situation as well as my own health issues.  I know my limitations and what is realistic for me.

However, deep inside I have some simple secret dreams/wishes/wants that I don't feel comfortable sharing here, but in reality they are never going to be, which is a great sadness.  Kind of like the saying that the heart longs most for that which it can't have. Better stop writing about this before I burst into tears.

I agree whole heartedly with you that sometimes we set goals based on what others think.  This has been true for me for much of my life.  I'm finding that letting go and learning to know myself and what I want makes for less stress.

But as a distraction, @Former-Member, would you mind sharing the banana cake recipe because I always buy too many bananas and end up throwing some out.....and I really loooove banana cake?

Thank you.

[Bubbles3]

My dream , wish today is to have a nice relaxing afternoon.  And for hubby to be nice to me

[Former-Member]

I do hope you get your wish @Bubbles3 

[Former-Member]

You're so right @NatalieS about the big picture stuff. Once I realised my own limitations and accepted that it was for my own benefit that I stop railing against them, I have had a more settled life than it was. 

There is indeed a great sadness and loss at knowing some things just will no longer eventuate. It's often the simplest things that bring it back to us too. 

I'd love to share my recipe, I shall write it up and put it in the Munchies thread, which I'm told is a good place for recipes. 

[Bubbles3]

@Former-Member@NatalieS

I havent read your full story but it doesnt havent to be big dream or goals or wish. It can be just for the day . Only something small. Just some thing little. 

Today , my wish is to sort out study stuff,  organise my sons birthday prezzies online. Washing. And taking time foor me

[Former-Member]

Heh, apologies for writing so much @Bubbles3 . My goals for today are to get a couple of loads of washing done and dried in the sun. One out, one ready to put out now. That means remaking beds and stuff too. 

Next is to vacuum the carpeted rooms 'cos I didn't get that done last week.

and get some crochet time in the evening. 

How are you both going @Bubbles3 @NatalieS ?

[NatalieS]

Hi @Former-Member and @Bubbles3

Not much online stuff when I get home because I'm totally exhausted from trying to make up some flex time at work.  And if I don't make up the time, I miss out on seeing my psychologist on Tuesday, and because she's been on leave and facilitating workshops, and I've been taking time out to visit hubby (he's home now), and I haven't seen my psychologist since January 2 and I really need her.  I mean I'm ok but there's so much happening in my life right now, I just want to touch base with her.  It's difficult being there for hubby-I'm going to continue working fulltime-because he hates me, but that's another story.  I have great support people so I'll be ok.  Just very tired.

Hope you're both well.  Take care.  

PS   I'm heading over for the banana cake recipe.  Thanks @Former-Member