The Butterfly Room- ED support

[Bow]

I have for a long time felt very alone on the forums with my battle with my eating disorder. I didn't really see anyone else talking about EDs, at least I didn't see any threads, maybe a missed them? Perhaps it's the deep shame that we feel and the feelings of being dismissed and misunderstood. 

But in the last couple of days I seen a couple of conversations started, you are so brave for sharing some of your story...

I wondered if it would be helpful to create a space to mutually support each other? Yes we have all have different types of eating disorders and our struggles are so complex and individual, but there is something in being able to come together and have real understanding. To break the silence of the noise that is inside our heads. 

I know that we need to be mindful of the language that we use around posting about EDs, perhaps @Daisydreamer could provide some guideline? 

I have for a while longed to be part of a real life support group, I want that mutual understanding.,, perhaps this could be a start? just tagging @Eden1919 @BlueBay 

[Fifee]

Sounds like a great idea.

I've had an eating disorder for just over a decade.  And I've received some good professional support and treatment (mainly interstate). But there is no community or peer support groups in my area.

I'm at a very good place in my recovery. And have made some significant recovery over the last few years.

Always open for a chat on things that have helped along my journey. And just be here for peer to peer support.

[Former-Member]

This is such a lovely idea @Bow and I love that you are so keen to talk about it safely. 

When I first started in Advocacy and Peer Support the main advice I got around talking about my ED experience was no specifics. This might mean: 
- not mentioning methods (perhaps use of general terms like binging,restriction, dieting)
- not mentioning numbers (avoiding weight,  quantities of food consumed/not consumed) 
- not promoting the behaviour (avoid making suggestions to others about techniques or talking too positively about your eating disorder)

Those are some general guidelines I try to go by and it can be super tricky and takes a bit of getting used to so I would encourage everyone in this space to be gentle on themselves. There may be times where a moderator needs to tap you on the shoulder and that's totally okay. We can all learn together.

I've also found when talking about my ED focusing on the emotions can be really useful. So instead of talking about the details of the symptoms I talk about how those symptoms made me feel.

This could look like saying something like 'yesterday I resricted eating. I know I shouldn't do this but I was feeling really stressed and it is how I cope' See how there I spoke only about my emotions and not about the restriction itself? I've seen all of you @Bow @Fifee @Eden1919 @BlueBay role model this beautifully on the Forums.

That's all I can think of right now. Any other ideas @Daisydreamer ?

Hope that helps! 
- periwinklepixie 

[Bow]

Thanks @Former-Member that's all helpful. 

hi @Fifee not sure I've seen you around before?

[Eden1919]

Hi everyone, @Bow  I think this is a great idea. 

I have always felt very alone with these issues and hardly talk to anyone about it because over the years no one has taken me seriously when i have tried and my family as much as they try really dont understand eating disorders and often make things worse unintentionally. i think having a space to talk about these things is very much needed. 

[Bow]

Like you @Eden1919  ive found my family and friends have no clue how to support me. Even simple conversations can be really triggering for me. I had my dietitian suggest to me to think of a friend who can be a safe person. Someone that I can tell them what I need; for me it was something that was willing to not talk about their own body insecurities, not talk about diets and be ok to check in with me on a regular basis. I worked up the courage to explain to a friend what I was going through and then asked them if they would be willing to be that safe person for me and asked that they not talk to me about those certain things.  It has really helped to have that person to talk to and know that they won't trigger me. 

there are some things that I keep to myself though. I feel like they are just too weird, too eating disorder related and that no one is possible going to relate or understand, only someone else with an eating disorder might get it. 

I hope this is a safe place for you @Eden1919 

[LostAngel]

very good idea @Bow  Im sure this thread will help those with ED Concerns and Issues 

[Eden1919]

Tonight i am feeling very frustrated with myself because i cant make my body the way i want it to be as quickly as i would like to. i know these things take time and i am doing everything i can but it is so hard to have to be so uncomfortable in my own body. 

[RICH1]

Hi Eden1919,

check this support group
https://www.eatingdisorders.org.au/find-support/eating-disorder-support-groups/

[Bow]

Sitting with you @Eden1919  it's a hard place to be hey? It's something that I really struggle with too and it drives a lot of my eating disorder behaviours. I don't have any magic solution unfortunately, but body acceptance is something that I am trying to work on with my treatment team. It's super hard when society is so scared of larger bodies and portrays the perfect body a certain way. My dietitian said if I can't be in a place of accepting my body the way that it is then maybe I can start at respecting my body. Treating it with a little bit of kindness. Nourishing it when it needs it. Resting when my body is tired. Even sometimes that is all hard for me. It is really torturous sometimes in my mind, knowing that I need to respect my body but my eating disorder is screaming at me loudly at the same time. 
@Eden1919 💕