Just checking in.

[CheerBear]

It affects you because it matters @Teej, I am guessing. Stuff that matters to me churns and bubbles. It sounds important to you, like maybe you are fighting for you. Big hugs.

To answer your not-at-all clumsy question, yep. Absolutely. And I have only recently accepted that it has. The psychiatrist and my psychologist and I have had conversations about it because I was dx with BPD and found that hellishly traumatic. It was before anyone saw abuse, so they did the "it's in your head thing". Then it was changed to BPD traits which has now been changed to AvPD and OCPD traits, with my psych thinking I meet the criteria for a dx of full OCPD. That's the clinical speak. For me, my personality has just changed. I am much more cynical, bitter, mistrusting, anxious etc than I used to be. I don't care about things that I used to, and care much more about others. I am not sure it will go away, or go away anytime soon. I don't know whether personality is constantly changing though. I think it kind of does. We all change and grow and develop depending on our experiences. Edit here - in saying that, I don't know how much is personality and how much is characteristics. I think that could be a really cool idea for a thread or discussion. If i was using my phone I would probably add a thinking emoji here. 

I can't imagine how tricky it could be sometimes to not remember who you used to be or what you were like though. 

[Faith-and-Hope]

Was out and about this morning with D3, now with D2. Apt this morning .... errands this afternoon.

Signing D2 up to library services, seeing to postage, might fit in a foot massage, will see.

Overheard mr. talking to the kids about us all going to the movies tonight, so I guess I will be informed about that in good time.

@Teej

[CheerBear]

Do you enjoy going to the movies @Faith-and-Hope. 'Informed' doesn't sound nice, sorry 😞

[Faith-and-Hope]

“Informed” is part of mr. not knowing what to do with our relationship under his triggered pd, which thrives on control. Within his “new” mindset he seems to have overwritten what our relationship used to be with the idea that I was under his “protection” (his understanding of his behaviour) and am now choosing not to be ..... so therefore how to behave towards me is undefined.

It was me who told him several years ago that his “lifestyle choice” could not sustain a marriage relationship, and towards the end of last year, I called Time on it.

“Informing” me is the best he can do at the moment, perhaps incisively, so to push against it is to answer to that incitement when we need to maintain stability .....

In short, I can live with it in this borrowed-time twilight zone, but under normal relationship boundaries I would not be able to accept it.

@CheerBear

[CheerBear]

That makes a lot of sense @Faith-and-Hope. You are wise and you know the best way for you to manage and live with the challenges you encounter along the way. Accpeting things you otherwise wouldn't, would be difficult I imagine.

I hope you enjoy the movie if you go 

[Teej]

No informed sucks @Faith-and-Hope.

It is an interesting conversation @CheerBear about personality and mi etc. my brain went to pick me 😄. I think it might be a good one. 

I’m pretty versed in the dsm looking at all my little congregation of dx over time. It’s a messy system but I think it has its place for some things.

The ocpd one for you is interesting in how they go from BPD to that. However I think my perfectionist streak has gone on hyper drive since I broke down but to the point that it’s debilitating. I hope it is helping you to find a path forward. That’s when a dx is really valuable. 

Now that I’ve dropped that heavy stuff I might do some gardening. Thank you so much for this chat @CheerBear, @Faith-and-Hope. It’s helped in more ways than you know. 

Hugs 💜🤗

[Teej]

PS for a minute I read @CheerBear comment that informed was the name of a movie that wasn’t nice lol, luckily brain kicked in gear before I asked what it was about? 

@Faith-and-Hope 😘

[Faith-and-Hope]

I have something important to write, but have to achieve something under a time constraint now, so will be back later.

I will post it on “my” Carer’s thread and tag you both to it ..... I think it will help you .....

[CheerBear]

They droppped BPD and put it as PTSD instead @Teej and looked at PD traits for more understanding of messy thinking and maladaptive coping.

I can start up that discussion soonish, unless you or someone else starts it first if you'd like. I'd be interested in hearing what other's think too. 

Thank you too. So good to see you and catch up with you (both) @Faith-and-Hope. Hope you enjoy your gardening @Teej

[Bimby2]

Hello @CheerBear and what words of wisdom you have - you are to be congratulated for same. With every good wish from Bimby2.