Lived Experience Forum

[perspective]

I hate weekends as well. I feel kind of dysfunctional on them. My life is defined more by sameness which makes me feel more alone on the weekends. Right now I feel pretty good tho took the dog out met a woman I used to work with who lives close by . I got home and felt that feeling of well being a walk sometimes does for me. I did some gardening and the house is kind of reasonably tidy at the moment.  I guess we have to be satisfied with the small things. 

[RedHorse]

Oh Dear Me

I didn't apply any of the coping strategies I listed last night and instead took my first, second and third ect drink in a while.

I've decided not to struggle anymore; I just give up...

I'm so over this existence, pretending to myself and others that I'm going to get better because I'm not (unless I leave this place and since I have nowhere and no how to move it ain't gonna happen).

For now the best I can hope for is sleep or at least rest before tomorrow sticks its realities in my face again.

If anyone else happens to read this, I am safe

[perspective]

I understand - I am also sick to death of false positivity . 

[Dimity]

Hey there @RedHorse I can hear your pain and that you're self medicating... if I could reach out as hand to you I would. Please know that there are forumites who care about you. Resting for now is a good strategy. Is talking to a friend or someone on your care team an option? It might help too. 

Sending a virtual hug

Please take care

Dimity 

[RedHorse]

Soooooo good to hear from you @perspective 🙋

It's a relief to know that it's not only me feeling this way.

Take care,

RedHorse 🌹🐴

[RedHorse]

Thanks for your reply @Dimity the virtual hug was gratefully received. I may reach out to a rl friend but don't want to be responsible for "bringing them down" which I have been accused of before. 

Take care,

RedHorse 🌹🐴

[Dimity]

Good rl friends are gems. What's happening for you atm - is there anything in particular that's worrying you or just things in general?

Happy to sit with you @RedHorse 

[Gwynn]

Hey @RedHorse - thanks for all the likes you've been sending my way recently. 🙂 I've been helping a RL friend with some of her stuff recently and she's being very stubborn about it, not wanting to try my suggestions. So I'm glad that you've been enjoying my posts - it makes me feel a little less off the wall, haha! 🙂

[RedHorse]

I guess it's things in general @Dimity 

I feel like my progress/ recovery has stalled and I'm stuck in a situation that doesn't suit me and from which I can't escape.

As I type this I'm aware it isn't true... It's up to me and it's an uncomfortable process so I want to give up or escape as I have today.

Perhaps I can let the anxiety go for now and aim to do better tomorrow.

Thanks for your support.

Take care,

RedHorse 🌹🐴

[RedHorse]

Things can only get better.

I don't know why I am struggling so much.

Managed to get out of bed this afternoon.

Did the minimum required until I felt I could crawl back under the covers.

Posted on the Daily Achievements thread but felt kind of embarrassed about my paltry efforts.

Still not eating or drinking enough.

Taking meds as prescribed, but overindulging in PRNs.

No alcohol for me today.