Lived Experience Forum

[Former-Member]

PsychosisBros, bipolarMa, dementiaDad, cPTSD the rest. Don't know how to cope anymore.

Just got thos Tx from Bro4 this AM:
"All the Demi's in Hollywood are dieing off. Bill packston died other day and the Demi's in the entertainment industry are dieing off. I wish lucifur George Clooney would be exposed as the Devil he is. Just letting you know that God is at work in Hollywood"

I don't know how to reply & feel guilty if I don't.

So over it! this is what's left of my siblings & parents. So far my last remaining child is OK - so staying away so I my genetics don't poison him through me - that's caring too right?
I have cPTSD (go figure) & cGrief, with nobody. All feels lost. How do we keep going?

[Queenie]

I feel for you @Former-Member. Genetics, I know, played an enormous role in the development of my mental illness. For this reason, I decided in my teens (at the first glimmer of mental ill health), that I would not have children. I don't think I could bear to think about me passing on the geneticism of an illness such as schizoaffective disorder. I have put my family and friends through hell and I wouldn't wish it upon my child. 

Having said that I don't blame my parents for my illness either, even though genetics were not in their favour. We have depression and bipolar running rife through the family tree, with occasional offshoots of schizophrenia (but back then noted as dementia praecox, as the illess was called prior to schizophrenia being the title). 

Thinking of you and your family.

[utopia]

@Former-Member. Genetics suck. But genetics alone do not necessarily lead to MI. Education, good health care, supportive friends, sense of community, participation in life, lack of ongoing trauma. By having those things in a person's life - we can reduce their chances of developing a MI. So even if there is a family history of mental illness - it doesn't mean that everyone in the family will go down the same track.
We are learning more and more about early trauma and lifestyle & how that plays a part inshaping our brain.
Also, there are many schools and some businesses that now run mindfulness / meditation as part of the day to day activities. This is having some really positive results on building confidence and strength in individuals and in reducing mental health problems.
Unfortunately this is all happening now. And not when you and your siblings were growing up. But we do know mire niw about how to look after our mental health. So it may be that your youngest child and any grandchildren that you have - will build 'resistence' & strength for their mental wellbeing.
For now, look after yourself first and foremost. You are the most important person in this family. Be gentle with yourself.
I'm sorry things are so tough for you at the moment. I'm here for you.
Sending you love. ♥♥

[Former-Member]

Thanks @Queenie and @utopia, my sin says he's not having children because if this. A church acquaintance of mine with severe Bipolar sensibly decided not to be a parents - her hubby has bad anxiety. Very sad I think. I use to say I wouldn't bring children into the world for different reasons but then the biological clock kicked in and predictor men (won't go there).
You're right Utopia, how its not just 'genetics' There is always a trigger that 'hits a weak spot'
I just read an article on the impact of Childhood Emotional Neglect. How it sets us up for lifelong depression requiring much personal intervention skills to stay on top of or manage. I posted the article into 'research'
So yes, MI is often secondary.
Stress is a bug destabiliser.
I could never see myself as the 'most important' in my family but I am learning (finally) how to look after me. Well, still get 'hooked' in a lot by then but at least I'm aware more now. Pitty u didn't understand these things before messing up as a parent myself. So much stress with difficult / impossible man & family court. My beautiful children
Gotta go xox

[utopia]

@Former-Member. We do the best we can with the skills we have. The same as our parents did. Except we have more knowledge now.
I posted to 'What's New' yesterday - re: an article on MI being linked to trauma.
I wish I read that last week when I got that stupid diagnosis from the WorkCover Psychiatrist, who stated it was a genetic condition.
No it's not. It was based on trauma and a toxic environment.
I have one child - a son & he has informed mehhe's not having children. But his reason - because kids use all your money! Lol. Smart boy.