Lived Experience Forum

[Whim]

Hi, I have never done this before. I have no idea how you see this message. I have dep and anxiety and am not doing so well. I'm hoping I will come out the other side soon. This feels wierd writing on a forum, but all the helplines make me feel wierd, appart from Samaritans, but then you often get the same person, and as wonderful as they are it makes me feel bad taking their time. I don't know what to do.

[Whim]

Please someone reply.

[Former-Member]

Hi @Whim,

Welcome to the forums  @Whim. It is quite scary posting on here for the first time. It took me months before I got the courage to write something and now I post on here everyday. I have depression as one of my diagnosis as well. It saps the life out of you. And I've had my time on the crisis lines as well over the last few years and still do from time to time. You can look through the topics on the lived experience page and add to any you think you may be interested in or just read for interest. If you have anything you want to discuss within the guidelines you can ask now on this thread or start a new one. Please don't worry of it takes a while sometimes for a response. Sometimes it's straight away and sometimes a day or so. Feel free to ask anything you're unsure of. Take care😊💜

[Whim]

Thank you Teej. Just your response has helped. It's all awful at the moment, but hope to get through it okay. Thanks for your words, and your shared experience, it really does help. I hope you are having an ok/good day, and know that if you aren't then you aren't alone. Thanks again.

[Former-Member]

@Whim I'm doing ok at the moment. Do you want to share something about yourself (not too personal)? I am a single mum of 4 boys aged 16-21. I've suffered depression now for 5 years and had some big downs and some OK times but can't get past it yet. I'm not working as I can't still. Do you see a psychologist or anyone at the moment to help. I have a great therapist who is helping me plus I'm attached to a community mental health team for a psychiatrist and other ongoing support. 

[Kurra]

Do you need to talk more about how you're feeling @Whim?

[utopia]

Hi @Whim. Well done for posting on this forum for the first time. All of us on this site are living with MI.
I have depression and anxiety. I've been on andti depressants for over 10 years. But this year I got myself a psychiatrist & finally a diagnosis, medication change & a plan on how to treat and then prevent or reduce the strength of another onset. This has also been done with the help of a great psychologist. I've been doing my relaxation exercises daily - has made a big difference and then talking through issues that I find stressful and then doing therapy to minimise the stress.
I'm just coming through the other side of depression and hope to go back into the workforce this year.
I wanted you to know this, so that you can see that there is help available and there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
When you feel anxious - what have you found in the past has helped you? I find focusing onmy breath - bbreathing in and out slowly - helps to settle my breathing down - thus making me less anxious.
I have also learnt to give myself a treat everyday. It could be sitting in the sun, reading a book, taking a nap when I need one, listening to the birds outside, having some chocolate (think I need to give myself less of this treat - too much last night).
What do you enjoy doing when you are not in a downwards depression? Do you meet up with friends, enjoy arts and craft, are you musical, do you enjoy spending time in the garden? I think it's important for all of us to try to do a little something we enjoy - when we can. (If it's hard to do anything - then maybe a shower is what you aim for). The more we do things we like - the more we will want to do them & the less hold depression will have on us.
I hope you have a good support network around you - not just professionally - but family and friends. This site can also provide some support.
Have a look around the site - click on a post that interests you.
If you find things are getting harder, there is LifeLine & BeyondBlue that you can call 24/7.
I hope you manage a good nights sleep and that tomorrow won't be as hard as today.

[musha]

You are amazing!

I wish it were that easy.  My results are just grind and grind and grind and then no results.  Nothing comes easy and most days I have to convince myself to stay alive.

I hate myself and think Im a burden to everyone.  I wish I would die.

[Kurra]

I used to feel like that @musha.
I never would have believed I could live the life I do now. Just one additional med and my life has changed immeasurably. 🎶🎶

[musha]

thats wonderful.

Ive tried 21 different types of medications and multiple combinations of them plus ECT and 14 years of therapy.

Im exhausted.  Im educated.  but im tired and death seems like a nice relief to me.  I just want it to end.