Lived Experience Forum

[FIRE]

My wife means everything to me and do the kids, but she doesnt understand whats going , she has come to the meeting and has had her own meetings to try understand , the money issues she worries about are small and not important , she has been use to having plenty of money but now i havent really worked fulltime for 3 years ive had to put my parents in a home and my father past away late last year so hasnt been much time to work, we live in a very nice home and have everything needed , But the money thing is non stop , we have some business interests but everytime i try to move forward she starts about money , its a never ending cycle and more so in the last 3/4 months , ive tried to explain it all to her but its not getting through 

We are in late 30's ealry 40's but my wife hasnt really grown up and its hard to talk about adult issues with her , she never had to really work only in our business we sold 4 years ago 

I need ideas/help

Thank You 

[Former-Member]

Hi @FIRE,
Well first of all, thanks for sharing. Your situation is a tough one, many men find it hard to talk about things so I truly appreciate your post.
You have had to go through some tough experiences and this problem with your wife is just adding to your problems. It sounds like you have made attempts to sort it out but unfortunately, it hasn't solved anything. Sorry to hear that.
I believe that people have different values in life. Money is such a need for some. It represents security and personal value. It represents how well someone is doing in life. Your wife has got that but yet she still persists on having more. Does she represent money with security? Does she try to maintain a certain life by having every thing? . Does she compete with others to have everything?.
I am concerned that she takes it out on you.
You have presented a comfortable life for your family. Have you tried counselling for yourself? It is hard to do as a couple when one half doesn't seem to want to listen. Work on you. And then maybe incorporate your wife later on. You are doing your best. Believe that. I wish I could offer more help, maybe look around this forum and see if anyone is going through the same situation. You'd be surprised how many men have the same worries.
Cheers Ms78

[utopia]

@FIRE. Welcome to our forum. It's good you can share your concerns with us.
It's hard when partners have differing views on important issues.
I'd suggest marriage counseling - like what Relationships Australia offers. This way you can air your concerns in an environment where your wife may listen.
If she won't attend counseling - I still think you should go. Your gp will be able to refer you to a psychologist who will be able to help you process the huge stress you have been under, in the past few years.
I wish you all the best