14th year house bound

[NikNik]

Hi @Jacques and @hiddenite

Sounds like you both had a pretty ordinary day.

@Jacques - how do you know the person from school wanted to bother you? Is it someone who would have done that in the past? I don't keep in contact with many friends from high school, so I think it's thoughtful when someone remembers me.

@hiddenite the pain you have spoken about experiencing, no one should go through and the fact that your father has added to this pain by saying nasty things is unacceptable. Not all people are like this...

Have you thought about next steps for yourself? I haven't been around the forums over the weekend - so apologies if you have mentioned this lately - but there are things that can be done to reduce this stress... have you reconsidered going back to the private mhu? I know you decided against it because of your girls, but there is there an outpaitent program or a short stay program you can investigate?

At the very least, going to the private mental health unit will mean you don't have to be in your freezing car, which is neither safe or healthy.

Thinking of you both.

Nik

[hiddenite]

Hi Nik

my parents don't support me going back into the private mhu. I spoke to my mum on Friday. Telling her how much I'm struggling and they want to change my medication again.

she told me I was just acting like a victim and that I'm wasting everyone's time. That I will just go in and get fatter.
And cause more damage and trauma to my girls.

no win win for me.

im physically and emotionally exhausted and I just need everything to stop. I've had enough.

karen

[Jacques]

Hi @NikNik,

 sorry i didn't explain myself properly, i am terrified of seeing anyone i used to know, i don't know if they want to bother me, i am just frightened that they want to talk to me, if i see anyone i know when i am out i will not leave the car, which makes it hard considering i live in a small town,  i just wish everyone would forget i exist, i wish they thought i was dead so they would not come past thte house.

no they where just school friends, i have not spoken to any of them since 2001, it is not a matter of me of seeing it as thoughtful, i just don't want to see or speak to anyone i used to know, i am so ashamed of the way i have lived since i left hightschool 15 years ago, i don't want to tell anyone that i have just sat at the house the whole time and done nothing. it is too humiliating.

[Baboo]

Are your parents your legal carers?

Does that mean they can say yes or no to what hospital you do or dont want to attend?

Dont give any energy to insults. Last time i had some one saying terrible things to me to try and upset me i looked up at them and said "umm, well alright then". if you dont get upset- you will win that battle.

Baboo

[hiddenite]

Hi Baboo

no my parents are not my legal carers but when I end up in the public or private mental health unit they are the ones who care for my girls. I have no one else.

My treating team from the public mental health unit want to meet my mum tomorrow without me.

I'm so scared of what she will say. She just thinks im lazy and should just get over it.

I just don't understand why they want to speak with my mum without me being there.

I feel really threatened and uneasy about the whole thing.
regards
karen

[Baboo]

Maybe your doctor will educate your mum into being a better support for you and your kids,

The first thought i had as to why the doctor wants to talk alone with your mum would be for that reason- like a "care team meeting". 🙂 am i being too overly positive?

Baboo

[hiddenite]

Thanks Baboo
but I've never heard of a care team meeting. Im sure no go will come of it.

[Baboo]

Its a special meeting to get every one together to discuss the care of a person- how things are going and what extra support can or should be given.  Im just hoping this would be why the doctor wants to talk to your mum.

Why else do you think the doctor would? Do you have a good relation ship with your doctor?

[hiddenite]

The treating team at the public hospital includes a psychiatrist psychologist ( who is new ) and a gp.
They have put me in the mhu 5 times in the past 8 months. Once was involuntary. Im really scared that they are going to put me back in the mhu because im struggling with my safety.

But I have told myself that I will do anything not to end up back there.

[Jacques]

Hi @hiddenite, my angel,

try not to over think what will happen tomorrow, i know it is hard, but you will only make yourself ruminate about all the possibilities, i know it must be difficult, but remember your medical team only want the best for you.

i can't imagine how hard it must be for you, and i understand why you feel threatened, but someone needs t ospeak to your parents, to help them understand what they are doing to your wellbeing, i only hope things change from tomrorrow, i hope you can get some comfort taking to all of us.

remember your parents are not kind, but i am always here and i will always be kind

Karen i hope you manage some rest tonight, i am sure tomorrow is going to be a big day, i will be online most of tomorrow if you would like to talk, help get your mind off of it.

Take care my special friend

Jacques