Lived Experience Forum

[tonys]

@Sophia1   hey there mate .    You must  at the very least have a migraine after writing all that.

All  i can say is thanks for donating your brain to science...    Sorry  ,  there it is again,  bad humour.    All jokes aside,  I  loved  the video from apple.   Sympathising with like minded groups etc..     It re affirmed what I have been thinking for the last few months.  Maybe not quit the puzzle pieces but a close enough fit.  You may have missed were I talked about a group called Kinora.    Dont worry mate .  I am a searcher....      I  never ever  quit .  not yet anyway.

I  have long thought i need both groups and see where things pan out.  This thursday will be the first day I start to spend my funding.  Doors lead to doors...      Goody.     Someone sent me a kite a few days back that shock waved me to a new dimension so I hope to enter a new world of writing with them.   and so the world turns. . . 

Mentioning my limitations I believe is a responsible warning to others,  and  a plausible disclaimer for me.    In the real world ,  My phycologist gave me cards to give to those I interact with,  and Im not going to argue  with the man.    He has seen my mind  in,              full  flight, 

I have no trouble knowing what I want..   1   to interact on the phone ,  then in a social group.

But for now,  just to share life stories ,  poetry,   real ,   or imagined,  in a safe place.

A  while back I  had  a gorgeous pet sausage dog  dumped at my door.  I  get unwanted critters left in the night all the  time from places unknown.    This cute little pooch had the pole position on my lap,  till one day he gave me 7 stitches in my  arm.   You know what .  took some time but i soon forgot  love, blossoms, bones and kisses till one day . . . you guessed it.   Another 4 stiches...   Swamp thing my mud hound....   always loyal  ,  always the same predictable part of my life.... So   I go where he goes...   Need I say more....    we try to think things wont happen again,    but they always do. . . . 

but  that is the nature of control is it not..    Putting the doubt in someones mind.    Is it  safer to be cautious,    not  fully express,     Play  on the fringe of the party.    Cant be right .. can it ?

I  thank you for always  allowing  me to explore and express.      Feels like a familiar comfortable slipper,   the kind  I like too wear.

Hope you never change...............  tonys  moon base one

[Sophia1]

Hello @tonys 

Laugh about the migraine...

Perhaps you have forgotten about my books..

I think that I am into trilogies now laugh..

Migraines....no..

release yes...

mind flowing and thoughts transcribed matching the currents of the seas where I submerge..

My depths of mind match the depths of the oceans and the deeper I dive the more I am carried with the energy of all of the mysteries and life form that await me there..

this is a whole new subject...another series of books...

I did look up Kinora and hope that opens new doors for you where you might find less shades of grey and brighter colours....a place to explore your gift of poetry and story telling further..

I remember you mentioning the cards and thank you for reminding me..

This is the wonder of talking to others isn't it..

You have raised a valid point.

This system is invaluable..

I have suggested that my adult son use this at times when his stuttering is so severe..

I have always encourage him to continue speaking..

Sadly others do not allow the time to listen generally..

He remains hesitant..

His overall experiences with lack of listening, understanding from many MH public hospital systems where the belief is one size fits all has sabotaged his internal trust system..

He now has acquired further permanent brain damage as a result of this journey beginning over 20 years ago..

He is on the autism spectrum but does not stay with any regular treating person long enough to obtain a true diagnosis of anything..

This is unfolding further now and has been consuming my time and my insecurity about disclosing too much on here.

The task must suit the person in the moment and perhaps in time he will use this..

This is his choice as is yours..

I hope that you do use this idea as I think that you will find more connection within the real world than you have imagined possible.

Trust in animals is a great analogy.

Animals who have suffered at the hands of humans also become traumatised.

We must be reminded of a cornered frightened animal and it's instinct to fight back to save itself..

Overtraumatised animals can also miss signs of love and affection when in constant fear, fight mode. Sadly your sausage dog seemed to have had this experience.

You still provided a home with love and your gorgeous pet using your words, would have still  known that..

As for swamp I still don't know what mixture of breeds...Anything like an irish bloodhound..?

Should I ever end up on my own...this will be my quest to invest in my lifelong wish to share my home and have a life long friend in an irish wolfhound.

Just don't leave the toilet lid up they advise as they mistake it for their water bowl....

Your new friend who has encaptured you, I know her...We interracted many years ago and time out...distractions from other threads....foggy minds can lead to loss of contact with some forum members..

This person is very wise and extremely interesting..

I know that you will enjoy the interraction there..

@Owlunar 

a fascination with astronomy and the stars...

I am so pleased for you that you have more opportunities to express yourself and at the same time read about others

I like you, believe that we do have a right to express ourselves....

we have a right to be heard..

my life long mission..

I am learning, following on from this, that at the same time due to our sensitivities..it is best that we not jump in without first testing the waters..

trust in our intuition...you might feel yours as something else..

I know that you have something there as I read it in between your words..

You possess a level of intelligence that you have taught yourself from surviving...observing..listening....engaging and just being you..

from all your travels...street wise ..a different life all in it's own..

my son has this strength..he has become street wise...homelessness and everything else that brings with it...

So without further adieu...

another end to a chapter..

hopefully not migraines for you..

Wear your comfortable slipper..

Never change you either..

Rest assured that I will never change..

I am just continuing to grow..

My life is about learning more and more about myself..

complete with my depths...

they are mine

Sophia1

[Sophia1]

Hello @Jacques 

How are you my friend?

Have your energy levels improved?

I am here to listen if you want to talk..

I also respect that you might not want to as well..

I do want you to know that you matter to me.

I read that your friend @Bill16 is also reaching out to you as a loyal friend.

I have read some wonderful to and fro replies between the two of you on the weekly friday  feast .

I will not write too much as I usually do.

Just letting you know that you matter far more than I think you realise to both of us and many more on the forums.

Here when you want to visit or even call out to me from elsewhere...

find your safe place on the forums just as a space to say hello to those you want to if nothing more.

sending you a very warm, gentle hug as sometimes that is what a person needs more.

I always have a listening ear..

take care always

Sophia1

[Bill16]

G'day @Sophia1 I consider @Jacques to be a good friend of mine,he is a great bloke 

[Sophia1]

Hello @Bill16 

Yes he is a great bloke..

So are you I might add..

You are a good friend to him..

He is to you..

I love reading your conversations on fridays...short and quick yet say so much..

not like me laugh...I write forever..

We are who we are though aren't we..

I love most the genuine friendship and bond that has grown between the two of you.

You even have in mind storing his favourite drink when you find your new home.

Now that says so much.

You read his every word and listen to @Jacques 

He in turn with you...

True friendship..

keep it up and brings me great joy to read..

Thank you for replying to me

Sophia1

[Jacques]

thank you @Bill16 and @Sophia1 you are too kind to me.

sorry i have not responded @Sophia1 i have been really busy this past week. and i have been sleeping when i am not figuring out stuff. 

i had solar installed this week. the wire running to the shed from the house was a real issue as it had melted from being over drawn and the old ceramic fuses did not trip. so the electrical men had to dig a long trench through my yard to run a brand new cable. then i got solar installed, my fuse box completely upgraded and new wires from the power line, to the house and shed. 

it has been 40 degrees here so it is really hot. i just pass out in front of the cooler of an afternoon to cool down. 

[Sophia1]

Hello @Jacques @Bill16 

Wow that is hard work...

boiling heat...phew..

just listening to the temperature makes me want to pass out sometimes.

I cannot cope in extreme heat.

Born in an extremely cold country..

Much achieved though to have all of that done.

Will save you money..

ideas for you  @Bill16  when you eventually find your forever home to make your own..

Understandable that you were zapped of energy..

just needed to hear that you were safe

Sophia1

how about a group hug are you into that @Bill16 

[Jacques]

im so sorry you are having a difficult time with services @Sophia1 i know the pain all too well, understaffed and only taking on some patients is really difficult. as i know trying over the past 23 years trying to access them myself. 

yes the bike is stored in my small part of the shed ready for when i can finish it. not a lot to do. 

my mood has picked up a little. yes being busy has helped, i don't cope too well when i have time to think. best that i stay busy and drown out my thoughts with music. 

anyway i hope you are keeping well this wekeend. i have had to water my garden every day because of the 40 degree weather. i think i have lost a gardenia, it is yellow but still alive. i hope i can save it. i got some beautiful peach roses come out in bloom the smell is amazing. 

[Bill16]

Yeah I'm cool as long as @Jacques is cool

[Sophia1]

great reply @Bill16 

I am cool with that also

@Jacques 

Will leave you two to chat

off into the wet garden

a bit of rain great for the garden and wont hurt me

Sophia1