Lived Experience Forum

[janedoe2]

An old man (stranger) approached me at my local supermarket center and laughingly accused me of being a woman who was having an affair with a married man (meaning my partner I was sitting with). I asked him to please leave me alone and after laughing at the fact he upset me by accusing me of having horrible morals, he eventually left.
Fast forward a year or so he was standing in front of the entry and started to approach me and I said 'No! Don't talk to me!' And I walked away.
Arriving at today he approached me again while I sat with my partner and I said 'Walk away please' repeatedly. He smiled and wouldn't go. I then said 'I will call security! Walk away please!' He balked at that. Laughed and said I'm going and he walked away.
I realised my heart was pounding through my chest and I was shaking.
I also realised I didn't know how to get security to help me if I needed them. I called the center management and got all the info needed if required.
I have to go there three times a week and can bump into him at any time. I want to protect my health and not be disrespected by anyone.
I am still thinking about it and wanting to let the experience go. Deal with anything that may happen in the future then.
I think I needed to tell someone about my experience. I think I handled the situation firmly but calmly and I'm glad he went away...eventually.
I hope he just leaves me alone. I don't want to worry about complete strangers getting in my face for no reason other than their own amusement.

[girl99]

@janedoe2

That sounds like an awful experience.  It sounds like he is deliberately going out of his way to try to upset you and it seems like he is looking for a reaction from you.  Maybe he finds you attractive and is interested in you?  What did your husband say when he approached the two of you?  It sounds like ignoring this horrible man isn't working, so can you try something else - something you might not usually say to anyone? Maybe say clearly to him that you are not interested in him at all and if he approaches you again that you will contact the police.  I would also carry a can of pepper spray or deodorant and a whistle to protect yourself - if he comes near you blow it really loudly.  If it gets worse, I would contact the police. You do not have to be harassed or intimidated like this.  

Also, can you try to take a photo of him on your phone?  It might help if you have to go to the police as they might know him already

[janedoe2]

@girl99 The whistle idea is great. Also a photo will help if things escalate. Hopefully not!
@Thomz0 Working with the recommendation from my psychologist to leave the house regularly and to not isolate myself by staying at home. Grocery shopping is an important part of these recommended outings. I don't want to change my routine as it has only just been established.

[janedoe2]

Strange....I replied to a post that suggested I try online shopping and now it's gone!?! I wonder what happened.

[Chris]

Go to the police and tell them everything that has hapened so far. I can asure you they will take this very seriously, and will give you sound advise. What this person is doing is harrasment and you may well be able to take out an avo against them to prevent them from approaching you. I think anyone experiencing what your going through would feel scared. The police are there to help.

[janedoe2]

Thanks for your reply @Chris. I have talked to the center management and got the number for security. They also told me if I needed video footage I'll need the police involved and they will be happy to provide it. I am hopeful this experience won't be repeated anytime soon but if it is I will tell the appropriate authorities.