Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[billie18]

I have been with my husband 16 years. A few months ago I found out he had been having an affair. He refuses to give me details and is inconsistent with answers when I have found things out and asked questions. He claims it was only a couple of months but I don't know for sure. He has blocked contact with her now and wants to stay with me. We have better communication now and I see him working hard to make our relationship work. I believe he is sorry but I'm struggling to move on. I keep getting flashbacks of when I found out and the things he said to me, pretty much blaming me for it. I just want to feel happy again.

[lavenderhaze]

Hi @billie18, welcome to forums 🙂

I'm truly sorry for what you're experiencing. Discovering infidelity is deeply painful, and the aftermath can be incredibly challenging. It's a positive sign that your husband is actively trying to repair the relationship and improve communication. However, it's completely understandable that you're struggling to move forward, given the trauma you've experienced.

Have you considered seeking support from a therapist or counsellor who can provide a safe space for you to process your emotions and work through this?

I believe it's important for your partner to understand the impact of his actions and take responsibility for his behavior, including any hurtful words spoken during the aftermath.

Rebuilding trust is a journey that takes time and effort from both partners. It's okay to take things one step at a time and prioritise your own healing.