Lived Experience Forum

[Former-Member]

“This aggression will not stand, man.” — The Dude

Hello, I am new and wanted to introduce myself. I am, to say the least, different, often called "odd" and "strange" by my peers and called far worse things by people who are not partial to my particular recipe of eccentricities. And while I'd like to say this is merely the result of an original mind, individuality, a free spirit, or some kind of inbuilt charm, the fact is a lot of it is due to a lifetime of compensating for emotional and psychological "issues". Through years of therapy and self-reflection, I've unveiled a deep-seated rage which is split off and repressed at its core. Though I am compassionate and forgiving of others, I seek punishment, castigation and ex-communication for myself. This self-loathing is how I validate powerful voices which I internalised as a child. I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder (with psychotic features) when I was younger, however, in my mid 30's I was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder as the auditory hallucinations and delusional thinking, on top of the emotional instability, became more prominent. 

[Clawde]

Hi love you are the safest place in your life , just type we are here for you, we just can't identify our selves but true as god we are reading you and are listening and true as god what ever that supposed to be? Just kidding we are all here for you .... you are not alone we care really care that's what this forum is about thank you for finding us, we care Pumkin we really do care we have got you take a breath welcome to our world Thankyou for finding us love from Clawde we got you love we are here 👏💓😇😍🥰

[Appleblossom]

Hey @Former-Member 

Love your "recipe of eccentricities" phrase.  Shows some originality! Yet I hear you about romanticising madness.  Yeah sadly I am familiar with all those long words of questionable validity and respect, but they also have some clout.

Take Care and share and read.

Like @Clawde  says, there are a lot of good people online via the forum.  Decent people tend to grow a good community, bugger the long fancy words.

Cheers Apple

[Clawde]

Oh the link to Clawde to say his this thing...... ok not a lot to tell but here goes 

Clawde loves Flowers because if there shapes and placement in Mother Earth, the smell the fell the beauty the sight the feeling when you touch the petals the look the coulours. The independent stems , of them, the mad serious names of them that match the names we know them of, the gentle care that is given them when we harvest them the way we must cut them to keep them a live to the end of there life and more 

ve inour Vases, the coulours the perfume in our homes the joy they give to others with threre buetiful   and presents of them selves alone the fact that they make antsy room or home. Or stand out area coulorful vibrant and changes  the whole mood and feeling they are courlored ready to buy in afforrord bucnches at coles. Or. Woolies. From 8 dollars live a little and buy your own home a bunch of flowers when you pickup your shopping this this week it will add to your home being a home, don't forget to cut the the stems dowbevertbsnd day and allow them to have place to bloom Clawde loves Flowere and so will you trust me.

Clawde loves all of as at QMHW Foromitesv make yor week with you 😍🥰😂😇👍👍:pistol:😂😂🎹💔🥰:money_mouth_face:🤲🏿✌🏿🤡🤠🤬 

mev

[Former-Member]

Thank you very much. I appreciate the support. 

[Former-Member]

Thank you for your reply. To be honest, I know I can come across as conceited with those "long words of questionable validity and respect". I don't see it as "romanticising madness" so much as deflecting a lot of pain with humour and accepting and who I am. People who meet me and put up with me, which admittedly is only a few, see through the vibrato and accept the vulnerable person I really am under all the pretentious posturing. 

[Appleblossom]

I never picked up conceit at all. @Former-Member I just crammed a thesis or 2 worth into a phrase so hope I did not put you off.

Love your love of flowers. @Clawde I am not into cut flowers but seem to have become a flower farmer. Must be in me genes. Better that the other stuff they reckon is in me jeans.

If you press shift @you can tag people thru hypertext