Lived Experience Forum

[Zoe7]

Hearing you @Former-Member and sending you a whole heap of love and some gentle squishy hugs 

[Former-Member]

Thanks @Zoe7 💙
@Appleblossom, its a worry your son "in reverse day night sleep patterns" Does that mean he's out of action?
Wonder why you can't see profies.
Glad to hear you're getting some quiet today (hope so). I've just moved my filing cabinets today and sorting files too. Gonna have to do more downsizing myself. Are you ok though? Bit worried for you. 🌷🌷🌷

[Adge]

Hi @Former-Member I would love to be more Chatty, more often - I don't often have the energy, especially Text-Based communication (typing).

Verbal (even telephone) communication is far more effective, so much faster & more meaningful.

You said "New Normal" (Hee Hee) - That's a "Buzz Phrase" that people are saying, since the Upheaval (& massive job losses) of this C Virus.

I said to them "I want the Old Normal Back" - "I don't want this New Normal, because it isn't Normal".

The Job Applications (positions) are all High Stress, very Low Pay - Disability Support Work (again).

More of the Same, or Worse - No I don't really want any of them, because it simply Is Not Worth it.

The stress, the excessive totally unreasonable work expectations, the unpredictable working hours (& lack of), the lack of enough $$ or reliable income to Pay my Essential Bills.

No Thanks - Yet those are the most positions (jobs) available - & that's what I most easily get considered (interviewed) for.

Probably because the pay is Dirt Cheap, so that's why so many job ads for disability work.

Plus one Temping/ Casual Horticulture Position - That's far more my passion/ expertise.

Yet it involves Labouring (heavy work), & my body cannot take that - constantly changing hours & places, because it's temping (agency) casual.

Thanks for your support & interes, I appreciate it.

Yes I should watch Finding Nemo, I would enjoy it - I like Dory.

I'm a Sucker for Notting Hill (Hugh Grant & Julia Roberts), yep love that one.

& Elizabeth Town (Orlando Bloom & Kirsten Dunst).

Yep goto cook & eat well, even though there's no-one to eat it with - Jelly Cat would happily pinch some of my meal, if she could.

No, thankfully I don't dream of childhood abuser often (this is virtually a first).

I wish I could identify my Triggers, I usually cannot - I just sort of know when I've been triggered (afterwards), yet do not know what triggered me.

Psych has been promising to do EMDR with me (specifically on trauma memories) for several years - yet she makes excuses every time, always puts it off.

I have never done even One (not one) EMDR session - after waiting, hoping on Psych's promises, for several years (at least).

That Is Triggering - Disappointment, feeling let down, cannot trust anyone's promises, etc, etc.

I'm sad, sorry that you've had contact with your childhood abusers as - at your Mum's Funeral, that's so tough.

Yes they are fake, people like that are full of denial & false bravado.

I cringe, when cousin M (abuser) has been anywhere near me - makes me feel sick.

He's a totally Narcissist (utterly self-centred & manipulative), creepy.

Sorry you were triggered, whilst writing about that.

[Former-Member]

That's ok @Adge, it past quickly after a tub of icecream lol. Yes, disappointing when 'therapists' constantly take the LAZY option. I'm over it. Ya know, all the counselling I've had since my girl died, not one has DEBRIEFED (walked me through hrough what happened), 'too traumatic' one said. Good grief. Don't they know its torture to hold it in. And then the wasted hours of introductory sessions :face_with_rolling_eyes: I'm so over it.
Tx my son tonight, to see if he'd like a visit ths W'end (again); but said his working (again). He's been doing 7days week for a month now. Affects my self worth. I don't understand how he can't be remotely interested in his mother Or why he might be angry with me. Hurts. And my only friend here has taken on a 2nd job, working 6 days a week so she hasn't got time to drop in for coffee for yonks. They both have full lives. There's online groups under "meet up" I registered but just can't get out the door, socialise on my own.
Anyway, don't matter 💙

[Appleblossom]

@Former-Member 

I am a bit stretched, but hanging in there. Thank you for caring.  I am not used to anybody caring about me.  Yes my son had sleep issues for a long time and the meds are making it worse. 

Talking about abusive cousin being at mother's funeral resonated with issues in my extended family.  @Adge Hope some better dreams are around the corner.

Lovely that you both are posting a lot more.  Maybe me being selfish and wanting familiar faces.

Hugs and take care of you.

[Zoe7]

@Former-Member 

[Former-Member]

Thanks @Zoe7  love that gif!

I'm happier today case m son rang me back this morning, and  he sounds so happy. Said his contracts wind down next month so wants to get together then. 

How are you?

I had a big day today, really sore (systemic inflammatory response) after visited friend, long walk and gardening. Too much sun I guess but good to get things done. 

Gonna have to have analgesic+ and go to bed 💙💙💙

Night everyone 😴

@

[Emelia8]

Really pleased that you heard from your son today @Former-Member and that you will likely be catching up with him next month. 💓👍

Sounds like a busy and productive day for you all round. Very satisfying I'm sure. 😄 Hope the analgesic enables a pain free and restful sleep.  Good night. 😴💖

Emelia 🌷

[Zoe7]

So pleased about your son @Former-Member 

I hope your aches and pains reduce over night - you have certainly been doing a lot the last few days but it is good to get things done - gives us a little lift at times.

I have been watching the footy - my team lost but it wasn't unexpected so not too disappointed. Proud of how far they have come this year.

I have had a nothing day - went to the tip early this morning and have stayed on the couch all day - slept a lot but needed it. Will need to get organised tomorrow for work on Monday but only have 3 days this week as Thursday is a public holiday here and Friday no kids so should be able to get through the week okay.

Will try to catch you tomorrow when I get a break. Hugs and hugs for when you are next about 

[Adge]

Hi @Former-Member Re: No Therapy Debriefing -

Yes I've been told that (fobbed off) repeatedly, too.

"It might be too Re-traumatising" (to let me talk about it) etc etc

Despite them promising to work on my traumas with me - that would mean encouraging me to talk about it (which they never did).

Of course you needed (or wanted) to talk about it, when your daughter died.

I needed to talk about my Dad (& my Grief), when Dad died - no therapist would listen (they changed the subject).

Yes Meetup Groups - my Psych wants me to go to some, or join some.

I have been to some, years ago - None recently.

I'm glad your aches have eased a bit.

Adge