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Something’s not right

KindHeartedSoul
Senior Contributor

TW: looming end of a sad story

Been off the forum for awhile. Over the past days I’ve buried my head into working and just doing what I think would keep me safe from myself… the voices makes me stop and think as to what they’ve said at true. I am losing grip of reality and the sad part is that I can’t reach out to anyone for advice coz of the police’s threat to me if a third party calls them for a welfare check.. I already got charged with public mischief by cops I just don’t want another one, my court hearing is getting closer and close so my anxiety is thru the roof each time I think of that case against me… where do I turn to for a advice as to what can I do to help myself without alerting the emergency services? I guess the voices are right, it’s so easy to just end this sad story now before it gets even worse… I can barely cope with this daily struggle then work then personal life I just don’t know I can take it anymore of this downhill spiral and never ending suffering… it’s so much easy when your dead coz all the pain and suffering will end when it’s done and dusted. I’ll do better in my next life…

37 REPLIES 37

Re: TW: looming end of a sad story

Hi @KindHeartedSoul,

 

Thank you for posting again here on the Forums!

 

It really sounds like you are going through a tough time with your thoughts and anxiety. I can relate to how you feel about not letting others influence your outcomes with emergency services. I like to feel that I still have control over my mental health and make decisions for me. And if you are having voices say things about yourself that aren't true it can make it really challenging to think clearly. It's in these times we need to focus on what we can control in our lives not what we can't. You are taking a step in the recovery journey by sharing your thoughts and letting others in!

I am concerned though about some of your language and that you might be at risk so I'm going to email you privately and check in with you. Sometimes it can be really helpful to connect with someone when our thoughts are overwhelming.

Thank you for reaching out to our community!

 

Take care

RiverSeal

Re: TW: looming end of a sad story

Hello @KindHeartedSoul. I just wanted to say 'Hello'. I wish I could offer helpful words, but so often we just have to help ourselves the best we can, as others can only mentally grasp our difficulties at the edge.

 

Look after yourself, @KindHeartedSoul, take time out to relax as best you can and take your problems, one at a time. Police doing welfare checks don't take into consideration the effect it has on people who are just trying to ask for help and not getting it. They should enlist workers in plain-clothes, and unmarked cars, who are unobtrusive and patient, and actually try to help rather than just assess 'safety'. There are so many ways to get help that don't help at all, I find. We just keep saying the same things over and over, while the years roll on and our difficulties compound.

 

I am so sorry for your suffering. I wish you well. 

 

Take care of yourself, @KindHeartedSoul.

Re: TW: looming end of a sad story

@KindHeartedSoul 

 

Just as there are forces which enact against our body. There are also forces which enact against our head.

These come from variations in the magnetic pole, as well as frequencies.
The forces are electricity.

We shape these forces but they are always negative, as the electricity is inherently against our head.
You shape them however.

Over the ages these things have been called the subconscious.

The sub [as opposed to the dom]
The con [as opposed to the pro]
The 'suss' [as opposed to sense]

They have been there ever since you were born. But it is only now that you are noticing them. Whereas before they were always a shadow in the background.

It's good that you have noticed the subconsuss. They are the cause for all the bad you feel.

Remember that you shape them. Learn to hate them.
And you will feel here, without the shadow.

Re: TW: looming end of a sad story

@David_888 @Historylover thanks for replying.

 

prior to being charged with public mischief by cops was confusing and feels like my life is chaotic already. So you don’t know how much more confusing and more chaotic now than ever. I’m afraid to talk to anyone who might be able to help me during this times with the fear of my case will get worse… I feel like I’ve lost all control with my life and it’s just downhill from here on. It now feels like everyone wants me dead. I also like im having an out of body experience that everything isn’t real or true… the voices are and have been making a lot of good points like the world will be better when it’s done and dusted. By acting on it and making it the last one is the only solution to this never ending problem and cycle… as well as even if I cry for help, no one wants to help me anyways so it’s best that I don’t waste anyones precious time by not seeking anymore help from anybody and just to do it…

Re: TW: looming end of a sad story

Hi @KindHeartedSoul, I'm sorry to hear that things are so confusing and chaotic for you at the moment. You don't deserve to go through this alone, there are services that can help in times of crisis:

 

Lifeline: 13 11 14 or Crisis Chat 

Suicide call back service: 1300 659 467 or online counselling 

Samaritans: 135 247 

If in immediate danger: 000 

 

Please also check the email that we sent you. 

Re: TW: looming end of a sad story

@KindHeartedSoul 

 

It's ur subconscious

 

You shape them.

 

They are the scooby doo gang talking shit about you.

 

Now they are the illuminati

 

Now they are the neighbours

 

 

YOU SHAPE THEM

THEY ARE ALWAYS AGAINST

 

Practice at threading them. 

 

They have always been a shadow.

And now you have pinned them down to something smaller.

And so they are this.

 

You shape them.

It's your sub/con/suss

 

It's foreign energy. But you shape them as they go against you.

 

Your doing well mate. Everyone has this.

Learn to hate them.

 

*hug*

Re: TW: looming end of a sad story

So much of what you say rings true for me too, @KindHeartedSoul, and I have no-one to turn to either. I've been trying to figure out how to change the direction of my life, but haven't been able to, to date. I'm tired of telling my story. It hasn't helped me so far, and I know continuing to retell it over and over won't either. Integrity in others who are supposed to be helping us would. Families are supposed to stick together, aren't they? For me, I wouldn't have these problems if I had a family who each looked out for the other and worked through all of our problems and difficulties. That's all I've been trying to achieve as it's the most important thing in the world to me. I just want some peace from all of this family disharmony and to actually feel loved by them. It all just makes me feel so very unhappy. 

Re: TW: looming end of a sad story

@Historylover i so feel ya, coz family relationship is of the problems I’m having plus maintaining friendships is another…

 

I don’t know why I bother someone else to help me when the mind and voices are reminding me why I shouldn’t do anything else but letting myself go. Even if I present to my local hospital for help, they won’t. If I call emergency services, they’ll just look at me thinking I’m making this things up., so why set myself for disappointment when acting on the urge is the only way that no one will judge nor would see me as a manipulative person… there’s nothing tying me down here anyways. Yea sure everyone will be devastated when I’m gone but they’ll survive coz they’re stronger than I am. I’m weak and really just had enough of everything. Nothing goes the way I want it to and it seems like all paths lead to this situation. No one truly understand how it feels when your in this very spot. And with that no one really knows how to help… no one seems to be interested as to how they can support me and no one listens to what I’m saying and feeling… so it’s best to just let the voices win coz I can’t take all of this any longer… i feel like when I help myself I’m actually torturing myself so why torture myself for a life that’s a lost cause? Maybe when I’m gone they’ll finally see all my struggles, all the pain I’m feeling and just how hard I tried… I wish its a happy ending to a happy story but it’s not, it’s a sad ending to a very dark empty and sad story… 

Re: TW: looming end of a sad story

Hey @KindHeartedSoul,

I'm so sorry to hear you are struggling. We are here with you. I want to check in with you see how you doing? What's your plan for the rest of today?

 

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