Not Coping

[Birdofparadise8]

Hmm, that is a different way of looking at things. 

I have a few values myself. How do you get that to work with accepting something? @Former-Member 

That sounds yummy @Blackbird11 

Enjoy and have a good class. 

[Former-Member]

Oh, I’m afraid these days I’m quite boring @Birdofparadise8  🤭🌺

however I love to explore winding roads, new places, and when I was still a bit more mobile, I would go to places with really interesting stuff like museums, historical buildings that do tours, as well as doing the night rides at fair grounds, and going to circuses with amazing acrobats 🙂🌺

how about you? 🙂💜 

[ENKELI]

@Birdofparadise8 what do you mean you have been warned hon? If you feel I am warning you, I'm not at all and I am so so sorry you feel that way.

It's hard as heck babe, we all have to find a way to let it out. Most of us are fortunate that we have others to talk to about it, I have my brother and my oldest friend to talk to. But even my brother has mentioned that I am still hung up on the ex friend thing. My brother is not one to sugar coat things, he's very up front when he needs to be. 
Unfortunately you don't have anyone aside from your psych to talk to, and the forums. I think if you had someone to talk to who was a friend things would be different, but like me you probably find it difficult to make friends.

When I was younger I was quite shy, despite putting on bravado. It was my training at Telstra and the volunteer work where I had to serve politicians, high flyers and very rich people that I started to come out of my shell. My friend David literally had to push me out to serve these people because I was too scared to. I wasn't a tall gorgeous size 10 (at best I was a 14) and I have always worried what others think of me. Part of the rejection thing.

I became confident and later went on to organise large functions, contact businesses for donations and speak to politicians as though they are normal people (they mostly are!!) I even got to meet my most favourite politician of all time. It was funny, it was like if you met TS, I was giddy! (I am a sad person I know!! Lol!)

Then within 4 years of working in 3 toxic environments where I was bullied and verbally abused and threatened, all of that has gone. I am too scared to go anywhere anymore. I can't even go to church on my own.

I will support you as much as I can hon, I understand how you feel. I am sending you big hugs and am so so sorry you are so sad xx

[Birdofparadise8]

That sounds nice @Former-Member 

Do you have physical issues? Other than the heart and other stuff. 

I like reading, watching TV, art, cooking, swimming, bike riding, going to the gym, and watching AFL (Carlton). 

That's a few things. I do like going out to new places, but I don't have many friends for that. I have one group but they are always busy. 

Can I ask your age? 

I'm 20. 

[Birdofparadise8]

No, not you @ENKELI 

Others. 

Yeah, I don't really have any friends I can talk to about this stuff. 

I have my aunt and uncle, but they wouldn't understand the online side of it all. 

Well, my aunt would, but my uncle, no. He didn't even know Google Scholar was a thing. 

I'm actually quite a loud and bubbly person to be around @ENKELI 

Can you believe that haha? 

[ENKELI]

@Birdofparadise8 yep, I reckon you'd be the person who lights up the room 💡

I've always been told I'm too sensitive by my family, I take things too personally. I can only hope that something I said may help even in some tiny way. And if it didn't, then time for me to stop talking...ha ha like that would ever happen!

[Former-Member]

Yeah that’s a very good question @Birdofparadise8 💜🌺

sometimes I need to ‘clear the air’ within myself by acknowledging and expressing or mitigating somehow, the pain/anger/hurt/rejection that comes with having to accept something that I currently don’t or can’t ❤️‍🩹

I try to do this in constructive ways, and if I know it’ll be intense to do so, I do it in stages (address maybe one emotion at a time). Like, dealing with anger, I draw what it might look like, or I engage in an activity while thinking about the feeling to literally work it out of my body 🌺
Once I’ve processed the feelings enough to then move my mind to what I need to consider (the topic, or acceptance in this instance), I look at it objectively as much as possible, and consider the other ways of thinking about a problem (eg: philosophical processes of considering a problem), then I apply the pros/cons etc frame 🙂
if I find myself feeling upset, I set it all aside and give myself space to let the steam from my ears, and start again. 
sometimes I can find a solution, but sometimes I can’t. But that’s ok too. 
I believe nobody should feel a kind of coercion conundrum about things, and that it’s ok to take your time and stick to values. 
this may not align with what you’re facing, but I’m hoping it maybe can help because you are seeing someone else’s example 🙂💜🌺

All said with kindness and the best for you 🫂💜🙂🌺

[Birdofparadise8]

Hahaha, that made my day @ENKELI 

You can keep talking. 

I'm really happy you joined here @ENKELI 

[Birdofparadise8]

That's interesting @Former-Member 

I really like your perspective on this. It's not cut and dry. 

[Birdofparadise8]

Wait, I just looked. Did you join in 2020 and leave? 

I joined in 2022, and I don't remember seeing you until last year. @ENKELI