Not Coping

[Birdofparadise8]

Only if I'm suicidal and in crisis, according to them @tyme 

I told the man whom I spoke to, and he said I was only in crisis. I said I was not, but I was really struggling and feeling distressed. he checked with his supervisor and said that he couldn't talk to me and that I should speak to someone else. So then I broke down and have been sobbing since @tyme 

I never thought something like this would happen. Yeah, well, I'm not sure what we've been working on. A bit about values. 

[tyme]

I'm wondering if they recognise you have the resources and skills within you to self-soothe and they are building up your distress tolerance? I know this doesn't make it any easier for you.

When you feel up to it, consider the skills you have gleaned from RO, KHL and SANE. There comes a time when the skills are put in use. 

For me, when I was 'let go' from my treating team, that was when I was made to stand on my own two feet. It wasn't easy, but now I can say that it was necessary. I couldn't be carried and 'babied' my entire life. It didn't make it feel any easier, but it was needed. Otherwise, I may still be relying on them. 

I wonder if this is similar for you?

Do you have your psych session coming up? Maybe this is something you can discuss with your psych? That is, how much should you be relying on external services when in distress as there seems to be a common theme? Also, consider what you can put in place for yourself for when you are sad and depressed.

Please rest up tonight. I hope to delve into this a bit more tomorrow if you are up for it.

Good night.

[tyme]

@Birdofparadise8  Forgot to tag for post above.

[Birdofparadise8]

No I don't think it was that at all. The person didn't even know me. 

I was really struggling last night. I tried to hold out as long as I could, but I wasn't feeling okay at all.

I know, but it was a suggestion, seeing how I wasn't coping. 

I'm not sure. I have only really used KHL since the trial with my regular. I didn't need to contact her out of that time, and seeing I hadn't spoken to her for about three weeks, I didn't see why trying to get some extra support was a bad thing. 

Yeah, I see him on Thursday. I'll be sure to tell him. I also think I will speak with my regular tomorrow if she emails me back. Last night, I couldn't see how I could wait until Sunday when I really needed someone. Besides here and RO, I haven't needed to use other services for a while besides my psych. 

I did try to distract myself, but it only goes so far. 

Do you think I'm overreacting to what happened last night @tyme?

[Birdofparadise8]

Hi @Blackbird11 @creative_writer @Snowie @ENKELI @bartart23 

How is everyone today?

[Snowie]

Hi @Birdofparadise8 

Saw that your mum left. I do think that would bring up a lot of feelings that are natural to have.

I hope you get what you need to done today.

[Birdofparadise8]

Thanks @Snowie 

It also didn't help with what happened with KHL last night. 

What are you up to today?

[Snowie]

Sorry to hear about KHL @Birdofparadise8 I never have called them so cannot comment personally on them. I have called other help lines and sometimes I think it is a hit and miss. Sometimes I get someone really good to talk too and other times not so good. Doesn't mean that I stop using them however. I think that is the case in probably every job, you get the bad and the good.

Today I have a family reunion with my husbands dads side of the family. They do a big event every year just after christmas. It is a big family so lots of people there. Also quite a drive to get there. Even though I will know most people there it will really test out my social anxiety. Luckily I have prn ready to go.

[Birdofparadise8]

I normally speak with my regular counsellor there, but she wasn't available, and they said I could only talk to them if I were suicidal, which I'm not. I just wanted to talk to someone about how I'm feeling. 

Oh yeah, that's fair enough. I hope you enjoy it and all the people don't exacerbate your anxiety. 

Are you going for a lunch type thing or what is the plan @Snowie?

[Blackbird11]

Hi @Birdofparadise8 

I'm doing good, just going to visit a friend and later will go to a flower show then out to dinner with my Aunt, Uncle, Cousin and his support  worker.

Sounds like you had a hard night last night. It had been building for a while, glad you're safe and you got through it... that's an achievement in itself. Be proud of how far you've come.

Go to go now, hope to catchup later if you're about.