Tw Not Coping

[Kyle1]

Yes. @Paperdaisy 

Though absolutely hopeless and waylaid.

[Paperdaisy]

That's a tricky spot @Kyle1 is there anything that helps you in these moments? 

[Birdofparadise8]

@Kyle1, I also try reading, watching tv, studying, meditation, breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, and even splashing cold water on my face. 

Hi @Paperdaisy, how is your day going? I've spent all day trying to work on the stupid lab report. 

[Paperdaisy]

Hey @Birdofparadise8 nice to see you supporting your fellow forums members 😊 all very useful ideas to help in times of high stress. Hope you're well!

[Birdofparadise8]

All good @Paperdaisy. 

Just studying, I was supposed to meet a friend but she bailed on me again so that's disappointing. 

I'm not sure if you've seen any posts from yesterday, but do you know much about anxious attachment? 

[Paperdaisy]

Oh I'm sorry to hear that @Birdofparadise8 that must be disappointing. Yeah a bit, what is it you wanted to know? Is it something you are identifying with? 

[Birdofparadise8]

Yeah, and she did it to me on Wednesday as well @Paperdaisy. 

Well, I wasn't having a good night last night, and I went to speak with my regular at KHL, and she wasn't available even though she was working that night, so I was pretty disappointed if you saw what I wrote. 

@Kyle1 mentioned anxious attachment, and I just wanted to know more about it and if that could be why I felt so hurt.

[Paperdaisy]

Hey @Birdofparadise8 there could be a lot of reasons you feel that way. That could be a reason, you could read about it here and see what you think? 

What is it about that particular worker that you have become particularly attached to? I think in the past I have become attached to a particular person who fulfilled a need that was missing. The problem with becoming attached to one person, as you have identified, is that you rely on them to make you feel better and if they disappear or aren't available you are left feeling even worse. We need to learn how to take care of ourselves and not rely on other people to do that for us. Does that make sense? I may be way off.. but that's my lived experience..

[Birdofparadise8]

Yeah, I'll have a look at it shortly @Paperdaisy. 

I guess it's just being able to talk openly and honestly to a particular person, and we have built a relationship over the past four months. I feel as though I have skills to look after myself though sometimes my destress gets too much to cope on my own. I've talked to other people at KHL when I know she isn't working, and it's been fine. I think what hit me the hardest was because I knew she was working, I could expect to speak to her, and when I found out I couldn't, it wasn't very good. It was also the first time when I had been in such distress, and she wasn't available all shift most of the time. The longest I've waited for it maybe an hour once I get through to someone else first. 

Do you think that would be an anxious attachment, or am I just being human and feeling hurt that I couldn't talk to someone I value and trust? 

[Paperdaisy]

Hey @Birdofparadise8 I would encourage you to have a chat to a psychologist about that. Unfortunately I'm not in a position to comment. I think it's really great that you are open to exploring these idea though, keep up that inquisitive nature 🙂 I'm heading off shortly. Have a great evening!