Lived Experience Forum

[Shaz51]

Thank you @TuxedoCat xx 

[BlueBay]

@BPDSurvivor this is a worry of mine. I always talk to her. And most times she will tell me. 

@TuxedoCat I am ok. I just feel sad for my granddaughter. She’s such a sweetie that I don’t understand how a father can do that. 

hugs @Shaz51 xxxxxx

[BPDSurvivor]

Hope today is a better one @BlueBay . Please take care.

[BlueBay]

Thanks @BPDSurvivor 

In case you’re wondering where my original post is - it was accidentally deleted or blocked. Moderators are trying to get it back. 

Just saw my Dr. I’ve got too much on. I can’t think. I can’t sleep. I feel sick all because of last weeks police statement. My body is now reacting. 

[BlueBay]

@amber22 

hi,

i am feeling numb, like there is nothing

it's a weird feeling can't describe except to say - overwhelmed, emotional

i just had a phone call from private hospital where i have been admitted.  they do outpatient programs and are starting one in Feb, it will be on anxiety.  12 weeks course followed by weekly yoga.

i have put my name down, it starts at 9am and finishes at 12 with lunch.

@BPDSurvivor @Shaz51 @TuxedoCat @Snowie @Paperdaisy @Emelia8 and others i have missed, sorry i can't think at the moment

[amber22]

Hey @BlueBay 

Thank you for sharing with me how you are feeling right now. It is completely okay to feel that way, and I really appreciate you letting me in ❤️

That is great to hear that you have inquired about the outpatient program. Have you done yoga before? I tried it for the first time last weekend and loved it. Is is a lot of work in the 12 weeks? I hope that it is manageable for you, that sounds like such a great step forward.

I hope that you're doing something for you today and taking care of yourself, 

Amber22

[BlueBay]

hi @amber22 

i have done these outpatient programs for a while now.  It gives me something to do during the week.

today my daughter is coming over and we are going to buy some make up.  She needs to purchase for a wedding she is doing this weekend.  she is a make up artist and has a few weddings to do this year.

so i will go with her and little A.  will prob have lunch down there too.  

but what my body would really love to do is go back to bed, but i know that is not a good idea.

i am hoping that this afternoon i can go for a beach walk, i haven't walked this week and feeling very guilty.  i have just had too much on.

[amber22]

Oh that is great, it will keep you occupied and give you something to do. Please keep me updated with it, I am very interested. 

Aw that will be nice to see your daughter and do some makeup shopping and have lunch. Hopefully you can get to your walk this afternoon but if you don't have the energy after a morning of shopping it is totally fine to rest, and maybe go a bit later. Do you live near the beach to walk on? I live about 30 mins from the beach so try to do a beach walk occasionally but it doesn't happen often. @BlueBay 

[Snowie]

@Shaz51 I'm sorry you had to go through that, especially when we are meant to trust the ones closest to us. I hope you have been able to have some closure over the years.

@BlueBay I feel for you, your daughter and little A. It simply isn't right. What ever the age, kids pick up on these things, normally better then adults. I know she receives so much love, care and compassion from you and your daughter. She will remember that growing up.

Hoping your daughter is able to work something out.

Take care both of you.

[BlueBay]

thanks @Snowie it's really difficult as he is a narcissist.  Someone my daughter had to put up with for a year or so.  I am so glad she walked out of that relationship and came to us for a few years.  She deserves better and she has found someone so much better.

hey @amber22 i live about 5 min drive to the beach.  we went to make up shop and my D got what she needed to do the wedding on saturday.

Poor little A is not feeling well, she ended up being sick once we stopped and parked.  Luckily we had a plastic bag.  

I'm not in a good headspace right now, i think i won't go for a walk, it's getting too hot and i really can't be bothered.  Is that bad?  I think i will go and lay down on my bed for a little bit, maybe this is what i need.

just don't feel well 😞