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08 May 2022 08:27 PM
08 May 2022 08:27 PM
😩😩😩 been such a hard day
08 May 2022 08:39 PM
08 May 2022 08:39 PM
08 May 2022 09:11 PM
08 May 2022 09:11 PM
ED monster is so loud. Need to drink. So dehydrated. But can’t.
08 May 2022 09:20 PM
08 May 2022 09:20 PM
Hi @Bow ,
I'm sorry how tough it is for you at the moment.
In my own journey, I've noticed that when things in the real world are out of control (e.g. things don't happen as expected), I turn to disordered eating - it was one thing I COULD control in the my BPD world.
I hope things get better for you and you find yourself able to reach out to those who can provide the support you need.
You are worth it and deserve it.
tyme
09 May 2022 07:32 AM
09 May 2022 09:29 AM
09 May 2022 09:29 AM
Thanks @tyme …. I eventually feel asleep. Up to face another day today!
good morning sweet @Eve7 thank you. How are you doing today?
Just off the phone with my CM and I could cry. After being away all last week she just wanted to confirm my medication with all the confusion last week. Hardly had time to talk and actually see how I was. I was desperate for her to genuinely ask how I was so I could tell her I’m not ok at the moment. But she didn’t. She said she would see me Wednesday. Wednesday. maybe I expect too much? Maybe she just needs a day to catch up, but then she doesn’t work Tuesday. I have a pdoc appointment on Wednesday, she said she would see me then. Can’t cry now.
09 May 2022 10:17 AM
09 May 2022 10:17 AM
I'm glad your CM checked in on you on their return @Bow, though very sorry to hear it wasn't the support you were hoping for. You deserve to have people support and check in on you. I know for me, it's a lot easier to simply reach back when I'm struggling (i.e. respond to someone who's reached out to me first) rather than being the one to reach out to someone or initiate the contact, though sometimes, as impossible as it can feel, it's what I need to do. I'm wondering if you feel like you could reach out to your CM to tell her you're not actually travelling all that ok right now? Or is there someone else you could reach out to talk to?
Sitting here with you and wishing you whatever strength and courage you may need to get through. 💕
09 May 2022 10:59 AM
09 May 2022 10:59 AM
i just wanted to talk really. wanted someone to listen. someone that knows me and where things can be. she cant change anything or make things better unfortanetly. but i just wanted to talk. to feel heard. she seemed rushed. probably lots to do cause of being away all last week.
09 May 2022 11:11 AM
09 May 2022 12:14 PM
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