My Mosaic

[Jynx]

@Bow 🥺

Me too hun. Me too. 

We shouldn't have to. We have here in this space something that I feel is missing from the MH system (and society at large, really) - a sense of commununity. You aren't alone, no matter how much it may feel like it. 

Hugs hugs hugs

🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂

[Bow]

Thanks @Jynx 

I feel that little bit less alone knowing your here

[Jynx]

@Bow horrifyingly, what popped into my head in response is the hit song, We're All in This Together from classic 2006 hit, High School Musical... 

We're all in this together
And it shows
When we stand
Hand in hand
Make our dreams come true!

Ahahaha that's gonna be stuck in there a while. Now I've likely cursed you with the same earworm!! 😝

I do have big feels about this whole thing tho, and it's okay for you to as well. So like, what are you up to anyhow? Did you wanna vent some more or chat about other stuff orrrr... idk share memes, always an option too! Teehee, one of my friends calls it 'pebbling' (after the actions of certain species of penguins who will mate for life, and who give rocks to their lovers as gifts 😍🐧 💜 so CUTE omg) whenever they don't have energy to chat to friends but see a meme and are like 'oh this made me think of u' 🥰

[Bow]

Can’t say I’ve seen high school musical @Jynx  but have definitely heard bits f that song. 
and earworm! I actually know what that is… learnt about that in my DBT group!

im currently laying on the couch. Trying to will myself to get up, take my meds and crawl into bed. Me shoulder is heaps sore tonight. 

I am so extremely anxious about my appointment tomorrow. I’m really not sure if I’ll be able to be honest with her. Like I know I told my CM today, but it wasn’t really her. 
My SW is suppose to meet me at health and wait with me. But I might message her and see if she has time to meet me a bit earlier so I can chat with her. But she wasn’t in today so not sure if she’ll be in tomorrow and then she is off Friday too. 

[Jynx]

@Bow so many owwies all round, me too!! Hips are being absolutely gnarly. Stretches for us both methinks!! 

Maybe some gentle stretches will help you rouse yourself? 

I know the appt is like, looming. Fingers crossed your SW can come meet you - maybe even talk to her about what we spoke about tonight (or show her my post, heck - ask her if she thinks it's a good idea, I'd be curious to hear her take, too). And no matter what happens, we will be spilling the tea and having a maaaaad gossip about it tomorrow night okay? 

[Bow]

Feeling my age more and more @Jynx  another year around the sun next week and my body absolutely hates me! 

yeah I was thinking earlier tonight what posts could I show my SW to make it a bit easier…. She will gladly read! 

I’ll be here waiting for ya with some nice cozy fluffy blankets. 

[Jynx]

@Bow right?! I am only in my 30's, how do I have so many owwies!!

We like your SW *nods* she's a good egg. 

Yay!! Cosy-maxxing, tea-spilling, space-holding, feels-feeling time is a go! 😉

Nighty night hun, all the Jynxy strength for tomorrow 💪💜

[Bow]

@Jynx 

[Jynx]

@Bow here darlin. How'd it all go?

[Bow]

I think I woke 8 times last night @Jynx  so the perfect start to the day being exhausted. Screw you universe :middle_finger:

My SW was able to meet me earlier, so we sat and chatted outside for 1/2hr. I caught her up on everything that has happened and that I just did not feel safe there anymore, and told her also what my CM said in response to me telling her that. We basically spent a fair bit of time discussing whether change was needed. Me having a good think about that and what I need. What that might look like. 

Then it was time to go in. Glad my SW was there to support, cause by gosh it was hard. There was a lot of silence @Jynx. She asked questions and I struggle to answer them. She wanted to know how I felt about last weeks session. I wanted to say it, but I couldn’t get the words out. I couldn’t even look at her. She asked again and I told her it was hard to get here. Why? I eventually told her I don’t feel safe anymore. In general? Here? Or with me? I told her @Jynx  I told her I didn’t feel safe with her anymore. 

That’s something we need to talk about then. Urgh. I didn’t wanna. I didn’t wanna talk about it with her. But in the end I told her that I felt invalidated and confused, she kinda tip toed around it and said that she had a different agenda last week cause she was unsure due to my lack of communication. I again talked about not being allowed to write stuff, and she said ‘that’s something we can work towards’ 😩🤷🏼‍♀️🤔

so I don’t know. I was not able to look at her at all. The conversation I had with my SW prior was not even mentioned as an option in relation to no longer feeling safe. The relationship just must be restored.

felt real shit coming out. 

and then our real estate emails through our lease termination notice 🤬😩

AND then I called the animal shelter cause one of my kittens is not well, so had to jump straight in the car to take her out to the shelter… in peak hour. 2hr return trip. 
then I had to eat dinner 😩:nauseated_face:

shitty shitty crappy crap screw you horrible day

whens it gonna end? When will it be over???