My Mosaic

[Bow]

Yep… I find that too @tyme  when it’s too long. Doesn’t help that it’s been raining here and that my shoulder is heaps sore. 

[tyme]

Oh dear. Are you going to see to your shoulder @Bow ? I'm sorry it's so sore at the moment.

[Bow]

I really do need to @tyme  but been putting off seeing my gp for weeks now. 

[tyme]

Probably needs an ultrasound. Hope you don't do even more damage @Bow 

Look after yourself.

[Bow]

I had another terrible night last night. I don’t think I got more than a couple of hours sleep. Nightmare that I just couldn’t shake off all the yuck and fear. I don’t like dissociating, but I appreciated the reprieve. 

Got daughter off to school and fed the animals and crawled back into bed. Woke to the dog barking and bashes on the door. Totally forgot and slept through many missed calls cause I didn’t show to my psychologist appointment 😩 My SW was at the door checking in on me. 

we chatted for a bit but I didn’t really have many words. She wasn’t too keen on leaving me in that state that I was but I assured her I wouldn’t act on any thoughts. She asked me to msg her a bit later in the arvo, which I managed to do. 

[Jynx]

Aww hun!! @Bow 

On the one hand, it's super reassuring to know that your supports will go above n beyond to make sure that you're okay. 

On the other hand... maybe you really needed the sleep!! Always puts my system in a right state, getting shaken from sleep like that!! I get the grumbles haha

How long you gotta wait till you can make up the session with your psych? Hope you're being gentle with yourself 😚💖💜

[Bow]

Oh yep I’m super grumpy and don’t cope well with the tiniest of things @Jynx  so yeah I needed that sleep definitely. Just super bad timing that I have a night like that when I should be some place else. 

yeah I guess I do appreciate that my SW came a knocking. She explained that it’s their policy that if they can’t get in contact with us that they do a home visit to check in on us… and I guess more so when I’ve not been in such a good place lately. 

I’ll be due to see my psych next Thursday. I currently have a regular weekly session.  

I spent most of the day either asleep or just laying in bed. But I did just spend the last 45mins doing the back lawns. I had a lot of yucky energy swimming around inside and needed to get it out. Lawns desperately needed doing and they will need another go over cause they were so long. 

how are you?

[Jynx]

@Bow the bittersweetness of it all eh? 

Oh good on you, pouring that yucky energy into a task! And reminding me to do my own lawns ahaha

I'm not bad, just quietly stressing about needing to pack tonight!! Haha I am flying up to NSW tomorrow to see the fam, and taking my partner up to meet them for the first time! Which carries its own lil anxiety bubble as well, eep! But yeah it totally snuck up on me so now I'm like, completely unprepared... tonight, I just focus on packing! I'll save the anxiety attack for the plane 😝🤣

[Bow]

Oh! Are you a quick/basic/ throw it all in kinda packer @Jynx ? Or do you over think over pack?? 
I know some people who totally just throw it all together 1hr before they leave and that’s just how they do it. As for me I open the suitcase a week before and slowly gather things over time and always overpack! 

ah that would definitely be super anxiety provoking introducing your partner to the fam! Are you an anxious flyer as well?

[Jynx]

@Bow the first one! Buuuut I wouldn't call it basic, more like CHAOS!! Ahaha what I usually do is to write a big list out of all the stuff I will need - mainly cos of the ol' ADHD noggin that has decided object permanence is a luxury... ahaha what I mean is that once I can't see an item, I will forget it exists! So if I don't write a checklist and tick em off as I go, I get to the last few bits and I'm like 'wait did I pack underwear? Oh god I can't remember' and then I have to pull everything out to check!!

Yeah I think I'm mainly nervous about like... well my parents aren't all that up to speed w mental health stuff and my partner is super autistic and has C-PTSD so there's always that little concern about like... are they gonna get triggered and if so, will my family be chill and understanding about it? 

But like mum has set up their very fancy caravan out front for us as a little retreat spot, so like if the poop hits the fan, we have a safe haven 😊