My Mosaic

[Bow]

You got any time off over the holidays @tyme ? I know you don’t celebrate… but rest, family. 

pool sounds nice? Do you get in it much? Got a friend that has one and they give us an open invitation to use it… but it’s such an effort. Rarely go. 

just finishing up our list of things to do before we leave next week. Final bloods, appointments etc. our internet is down too. So trying to get that sorted asap before we leave. 
I’m tired too. Weary. 

[tyme]

I don't go that often because, like you said, it's a lot of effort. It's not something you jump into for 5 mins. For me, it's either you get in and do it properly (for a few hours) or don't get in at all @Bow 

As for going away! Just the thought of it sounds like a lot! It's exciting though 🙂 Hope the internet get sorted soon.

I'll have 2 weeks over Christmas/New Year. Then I'm back on. It's a LONG time away from the forums though. When I'm not on the forums for even 2 days, I feel like I've missed a lot already!

[Snowie]

Afternoon @Bow 

Hoping today has gone well for you

Hi @tyme I hope today has gone well for you too.

[tyme]

Hey @Snowie  🙂

How's today been?

Hey @Bow 

[Snowie]

Hey @tyme 

Lets just say it has thrown a few challenges at me 🤦‍♀️

[tyme]

Arrghhh @Snowie  - life throws curveballs when we least expect it .....

[Bow]

Today’s not been ok. I had bad nightmares last night, worse than usual and I just couldn’t shake it. Been feeling yuck and on edge all day. I didn’t take the call from my SW, but got myself to my psychologist appointment, it was my last one for the year. But while sitting and waiting for her it all got to much for me and I got up and left. I headed towards my car and sat in the gutter. Sat shaking and then next thing there was my SW standing over me calling my name. Didn’t know why she was there, why she was near community health right when I was. Maybe there with another client? Turns out and I have no idea how, she was there for me. My old SW never came to my psych appointments and that was definitely passed on. But there she was. She sat down next to me for a while, I didn’t really wanna talk. Couldn’t really verbalise much anyways. But she sat. Health were calling me cause I was obviously no longer in the waiting area. We sat for about 20mins and then my SW walked me back inside. I seen my psych, but was really in no place to do much. We were suppose to do some trip planning and stuff, but instead I was wasted my last session for the year. I’m still a mess. Finding it extremely difficult to remain present and not drift off. I’m terrified of bed time yet just longing for the escape it brings. 

[Jynx]

@Bow I can totally imagine the time feeling like a waste hun, but if we're not in the headspace for therapeutic work, we're just not in the headspace; tryna brute force it often only ends up leaving us frustrated, depleted, and overwhelmed! Maybe flick an email to your psych asking if you could... idk, get some of the cost refunded or plan a make-up session sometime soon? Maybe she'll have a cancellation and can slot you in before the year is out! Never know if you don't ask 😉

Sounds like your SW was really there for you! Could she maybe help you with some of the trip planning stuff? 

Hugs comin atcha!! 

🫂🫂🫂

[Bow]

No cost for me @Jynx  its at comm mh. And no chance for a make up before we leave next week. Was just hoping for some strategies for while away for when I have days like today. I’ll get back from our trip and head straight into this trauma anniversary and I’m not looking forward to it. 
I’m not sure if I’ll see my SW again before we leave. She’s not in tomorrow. She’s working Sunday, Monday I just won’t have time and Tuesday I don’t even know 

[Jynx]

@Bow is it something you could perhaps ask the community for some ideas on? If you're not keen on creating a whole new thread, you could post it here?

And I think you're also well within your rights to notify your supports that you're worried about not being able to discuss what you wanna discuss before you go away - I think in particular mentioning that you're coming home to an anniversary would be super helpful. 

Are you up to much tonight?