My Mosaic

[Jynx]

Naked sunbathing for all!! Hahaha @Captain24. Yeah definitely not an activity for anyone who struggles in confined spaces. Lots of shimmying through narrow gaps. Was definitely challenging but it is nice to get an adrenaline rush from something other than anxiety 😅

@Bow the way I was taught is that the c in stalactite stands for coming down from the ceiling and the g in stalagmite stands for coming up from the ground! 

[Bow]

Look at you two brave souls laying in the sun naked! I could never do that. Way too scared someone would see me, and way too uncomfortable in my own body to do it. 

Having my meds dropped off has been giving me a bit more support, that has been one positive… depending who it is. My support worker does it every second day, so that’s all fine. We talk and I am comfortable with that, it’s just really early. When it’s community mh on the other days, I never know who it will be. Like last night 2 guys rocked up, they gave me my pills and left straight away… and of course I actually needed to talk. Other nights they will hang around a bit, ask how I am, how my day has been etc. 

I am terrified that my CM will make me get my bloods done. 

[Captain24]

I live alone @Bow and there is a part of my backyard that no one can see in. I

love the sun and like being tanned. I feel healthier and find it’s good for my MH. I had my bloods done today and it goes into my hospital records and that way my CM and dietitian can get them. I’ll wait and see if my GP contacts me.  

It must suck having your meds early though. 

Im a bit of an adrenaline junking @Jynx. I’ve done a couple of things but not caving or bungy jumping. They a 2 things I won’t do. 

[Jynx]

@Bow yeah I'm lucky to have a pretty secluded yard, and the sun streams into my loungeroom in the mornings. If I was in a share house though, no way José! And can also understand if it is triggering for you. I did hear from a friend that the stomach is the best part of the body for absorbing sunshine, so even just lifting up your shirt to catch some rays might help! You can keep your eyes closed and focus on the warmth, nothing like warm sun after a long cold winter. 

Can really hear how much your bloods is causing you a lot of anxiety at the moment hun. I imagine it might have to happn eventually, perhaps doing so yourself might help you feel more in control? Just a thought, up to you of course.

@Captain24 yeah I wanna get out and do a few more adrenaliney things but caving was a bit hectic, probably not something I'd do regularly. What sort of things do you do to get that rush feeling? 

[Captain24]

I’ve been skydiving, scuba diving, whitewater rafting and jet boating. @Jynx. If I see a hectic roller coaster I’ll get on it. I’ll give most things ago. 

[Jynx]

@Captain24 ooh whitewater rafting is one I couldn't do. Way too hectic. Jet boating sounds suuuuper fun though! Haven't been on a rollercoaster in forever! Might have to make some plans hahaha. 

[NatureLover]

@Bow  Hoping that your meeting with your unsupportive CM goes better than you think on Thursday. Could you hand her a list of what she's doing that's not working for you, and tell her in writing that you find her so unsupportive and so unhelpful that you don't want to do what she says?

Sending hugs 💜

[Snowie]

Wishing you a good day today @Bow 

Sending lots of love your way 💕💕

[Bow]

@Captain24 @Jynx  I love adrenaline stuff too… although it’s been a long time since I’ve done anything!  It’s really not as much fun when you do it alone. 
I’ve been sky diving. Would love to go again. Done white water rafting, abseiling, rock climbing, and went on heaps of roller coasters in the states back in my early 20s at kings island, including the worlds biggest wooden coaster the beast. 
D hates that stuff though! Convinced her to go on splash mountain (it was one of the icon rides I really wanted to do) at Disneyland and have the best photo of her sitting in the front seat!

My ex was the biggest whimp so never did that stuff with him. 

Apparently D asked my mum if caves were real the other day. So we’re gonna head to the blue mountains in the holidays I think. 

Yep @Jynx  getting my bloods done is causing me a lot of anxiety. My support worker asked me again today whether I’d booked an appointment. Was stuck thinking about it for ages earlier today and got myself into a panic. I can already hear what my CM is gonna say about it on Thursday when I see her. I then see my pdoc on Monday and can imagine the conversation there too. 
I’d rather my body just quit on me. Give up.

[Bow]

Thanks @NatureLover @Snowie  hope both your days have been ok. 

@NatureLover  I will probably write a few things down and take it with me to my appointment. I need to contact her and organise to go to her instead of her coming here- realised I’d feel better that way. There is away out if I need to leave. 

I mentioned to my support worker today that my CM finally called and that I was seeing her Thursday. She asked if I wanted her to go, which I said no. I probably do need the support, but I’m not sure. My CM has seen a lot of different sides to me. The good and the bad and the really bad. My support worker has mostly only seen the ok… and the struggling but holding it together. I don’t want her to see me lose my cool… incase it happens.