I'm in a nest

[CheerBear]

Good morning @outlander (and everyone).

I can't find where your thread is outlander but I wanted to wish you well for your appointment today. I have mine early so I'm about to get LF ready for school and get moving. After my appointment I have a counselling appointment so it's going to be a busy morning here. But will be thinking of you and looking forward to hesring how you get on today. Hugs. Deep breaths. We've got this 💛

[outlander]

Goodmorning @CheerBear
Big hugs to you too and ill be thinking of you too.
Let me know how you get on today too ❤❤❤😘😘

[Phoenix_Rising]

@CheerBear I'm not sure what time your appointment is, but I will be there in your pocket. You may want to put me in a plastic bag or something before you put me in your pocket because I'm currently riding a wave and thus I may be a big soggy. But I will be there, just the same. We've got this.

[CheerBear]

Was just about to walk in but posted in your wave at the same time you posted here. I'm cool with soggy turtles @Phoenix_Rising - and will have a safe cushion for you to sit on and dry out when the wave passes.

[CheerBear]

I'm in the nest and I can breathe. I am holding a cup of tea, and I don't want to curl into a ball or sit really tight and still right now. I feel like what had hold of me so tightly that I felt like I was suffocating, has loosened it's grip a little.

I saw a psychiatrist and it was a positive experience, a really positive experience. It helped me to see that not all boats in white are as terrifying as they feel. This person was kind and calm. I was open and honest. They knew that poking around in the deep dark shadows that lurk in my past would not be a helpful thing to do and is not needed to get an idea of what can help right now. This doctor did not want to increase medication as they knew that it is one small component of my recovery and a 'buffer' to help while things are hard, and that counselling, psychotherapy and phams is where the most benefit will lie for me. I'm being referred to somewhere for a break and it's in my control. I have to keep in contact with catt while I wait, but I was able to work through some of the issues I have with being poked and prodded by them and feel a lot better about that now too. I'm hoping no more shaking, or at least minimal shaking, will happen now. And as an extra bonus, my mh worker sat alongside me on my side as she said she would, and we had a laugh before hand, a debrief afterwards and that fracture to our working relationship is well on it's way to being something that has helped us clear up a mess, be more real and honest with each other and understand each other better. And these are all ginormously important things right now.

The safety net that sits below the nest feels much more safe and secure now. I'm hoping to land somewhere a little above it and just have to keep in keeping on until then.

🙂

[outlander]

Sitting with you @CheerBear ❤ ❤

[Former-Member]

That's awesome again @CheerBear. I know it doesn't fix or heal anything but it gives you so much more hope that you can get through this and you don't have to do it all alone.

 💜🤗💐

[outlander]

Hey @CheerBear heres a big bear hug too tpu too and our virtual high five
You did it super proud of you 😏🤗🤗🙌🙌 ( that means high 10 lol)

[CheerBear]

@Former-Member and @outlander thank you 😄 Your reassurance, support and encouragement helps heaps! Teej - i showed my mh worker the rainbow walk and the purple that I have to use when I'm going there because it is the only purple lol. She loved it 🙂

[Former-Member]

Made me smile @CheerBear. You might have to throw some purple on your bag somewhere so you've always got some purple to find rainbow walking. It is an easy thing to do if colours are your thing. I hope the next appointment is ok and you slide into the weekend in a much better place than this time last week. I am really proud of you.  

PS I think we are all rubbing off on each other. In my two appointments this week with 'white coats' I was totally honest for the first time. I didn't reply with what I thought they'd want to hear. It kind of turned out for me pretty well too. I'm still a little scared one thing will back fire but I'm putting faith in it will be ok. For me the backfire is not the same level of threat as you but a level of support.

keep going you're doing so well. 💜🤗