Hello @Sunflower7
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It may seem strange to say, but I enjoyed reading your statement. Not because of the content of your description. But I say “enjoyed” because you have, so very clearly expressed your experiences and concerns, in a writing style that is clear, succinct and logical. In doing so you have described the presentation of symptoms, that align very closely with those normally recognised of depression. My positive observations, about your writing style and content, may I hope, be a source of some consolation and even relief, in the awareness that people on the forum can relate to the feelings that you have very clearly described.
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One thing, specifically, drew my attention. That was your description of feeling “exhausted all the time”. From my own experience, and what I have seen others describing, the “exhausted feeling” seems to be a very common symptom of depression. You describe it very clearly when speaking of just lying in bed without any feeling of motivation or desire to get up and “into the day”.
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It sounds as if you don't have a lot of contact with other people during the day, particularly because of current restrictions on movement. I find, that being on my own, as in living alone, there is not the mental stimulation that would occur if there was someone else, or other people in the house. That is not to say that having people around is necessarily a preventative, or protection against depression, but I would think, that it reduces the likely chance of onset, and possibly the depth of the problem.
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However, people in a household may cause someone, who is experiencing the effects of depression, to feel embarrassed and additionally concerned, where other people can see that presentation of the state of lassitude, the drained feelings and apparent lack of desire to be active and involved. Avoidance of others can also occur, because of the desire to neither project those feelings to others, nor have to engage with others and the extra demands of social interaction, during a time when we feel less able to meet those demands.
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For all this, I am sorry that you have found your way to the forum, for the reasons that you have described. On the other hand,
I hope that knowing that other people do experience similar feelings;
that you can express your own concerns freely, because of anonymity; and hopefully,
the awareness that we can help each other in the process of lifting those feelings or reducing their effect, will provide you with some relief and positive expectation.
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With My Very Best Wishes
@HenryX
from cloudcore
