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Something’s not right

Powderfinger
Senior Contributor

Feeling deeply sad tonight.

It is a week tomorrow since my relationship ended. Is this how it goes for most people? A relationship ends and it never gets spoken about? That is an honest question I'd like some answers too. Not answers I'm seeking, just an answer. 

 

I feel so beyond a low point. Please anyone do not ask me if I feel safe or if I'm going to do anything stupid. A person can feel beyond low and not do anything stupid. I really don't need it. 

 

I live in the house with her still. It's a three bedroom house. She has taken another bedroom, I sleep in the lounge room, sometimes I will go for an hour or two into what used to be our room and sleep but mostly I can't go in there. 

 

Tonight, I can't be strong. I don't know what to think, feel nor do. Is it right for two people who were do incredibly close to just stop speaking to one another? Nothing at all. Like it did not exist. 

 

Yesterday she told me in a text that the relationship would never have been salvageable even with therapy. That was a big OUCH to me. 

 

I'm just hurting real bad tonight. I don't text her at all. It just turns into nastiness or I don't even get a reply. This very sudden split and seperating our lives when our lives were so joined together in many ways is deeply painful. I feel useless, not even acknowledged for any of the good. I don't matter at all. 

 

People came trick or treating today at my door. I forgot to get anything this year. I noticed how excited I was just to have someone knock on my door and I realised how lonely I'd been feeling for so long. It was a tiny moment of happiness. 

8 REPLIES 8

Re: Feeling deeply sad tonight.

I'm so sorry you're going through this.

 

One of the bizarre things I find in life is you can be so close and intimate with someone and if a breakup occurs - silence.

 

I'm finding it hard to stop the feeling of my own lonelyness at the moment. All I want to do is take that feeling away, from myself and others.

 

I know this is not an answer, but I thought I'd say hi 👋 

always someone out there who will listen 

Re: Feeling deeply sad tonight.

Hi @Powderfinger @Luca33 ,

 

Im sorry to hear things are so challenging and you feel such loneliness and isolation. @Powderfinger , it seems like what you are describing is part of the grief process and is completely valid. After sharing commonalities for so long, I can see why the end of a relationship can be so painful. These feelings are normal.

 

I have attached a clip of the 5 stages of grief which we often find ourselves in. It does not just relate to the loss of a person, but can be applied to all aspects of our lives. The process does not dictate how long one stays at each stage. It is different for all.

04565B12-18DE-4349-BD77-0D8B9207B860.jpeg

 

You can look into it further if you want more understanding.

 

Whatever it is, and whatever you feel, you are accepted here. I encourage you to continue reaching out.

 

Take care,

BPDSurvivor

Re: Feeling deeply sad tonight.

@Luca33  

 

Hi. 

I'm.slowlynstarting to accept the silence. I don't know the reasons for it, but I have to accept it. I'm barely initiating talk either. Texts get sent here and there, ones that are relevant. When it comes to do with anything related to the break up and talking, no response. 

 

I'm starting to accept that too and becoming less interested in asking. It's doing more harm than good. 

 

I'm sorry you are experiencing loneliness. If so could just say, focus on you first, your loneliness and what you can do for you to combat some of that loneliness. Sometimes we are the cause of our loneliness too. I was partly the cause of my loneliness and isolation, but not the entire cause. One thing that helped me was to completely rid myself of the abusive and toxic people in my life. Only then could I begin.to build a better life for myself. 

 

I.still have quite a few hard years of work ahead of me, but I made a start. 

 

 

 

Re: Feeling deeply sad tonight.

@BPD 

 

Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I know the bargaining stage has not occurred at all. Anger, most definitely. Shock, most definitely. Sad, most definitely. Confused, most definitely. I am definitely no stranger to grief and I know the grief model very well. It just doesn't feel like that to me. It feels different but I can describe it. There are moments that are definitely too much to cope with, like when I wrote this post last night. I'm not sure.how to express what I'm feeling. 

 

I'm a Rotarian member. I had a huge day today for our annual radio auction. It was loads of fun and I loved it. Just a huge day, so I am resting this evening. 

 

I will keep.reaching out here. 

 

Ramble. 

Re: Feeling deeply sad tonight.

Ramble, I understand how you are feeling.  I am going through the same situation and unfortunately my two little children are right in the middle of it. I cannot understand how virtually overnight someone you love can snap and treat you like a stranger. The moving truck arrives tomorrow and my beautiful family will walk out the door. I am so desperately sad and understand your feeling of helplessness. This is my first time with this type of thing but I guess I wanted to let you know you are not alone.  I don't know what support I can offer you but sometimes I guess it's nice to know other people are sharing similar experiences. Stay strong mate things will get better 

Re: Feeling deeply sad tonight.

@Powderfinger  @Johno @BPDSurvivor 

 

Hope everyone is doing okay.

Feels a bit hard tonight, but I have hope that people are pulling through as best they can 

Re: Feeling deeply sad tonight.

@Luca33 I hope you are doing ok too. Wishing you a very HAPPY NEW YEAR and best wishes for a great 2021. 

Re: Feeling deeply sad tonight.

I agree @Luca33 , 

 

This can be a very challenging time of year. We remember the troubles of the past year, and have the anxieties that come with facing a new year.

 

I just want you to also remember your triumphs of last year. As small or big as they may be, they are still victories. 

Hugs,

BPDSurvivor

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