Changing meds

[Anastasia]

Not good @WIP 

I'm sorry,  I will keep you in my thoughts and will pop in to check on you today. Sending you love my dear friend L ❤️

[Emelia8]

Sorry to hear that @WIP 😢💜 Hope you can find something calming to do right now to help yourself calm down a bit.  I think you were thinking about doing some diamond painting after discussing it with @Anastasia last week.  I do diamond painting too and find it very calming, it really is distracting because you have to concentrate on it.  I wonder are you able to get hold of a small one to start on.  I know you can buy a limited choice at most Spotlight stores, so if you have access to one of those stores, it may be worth dropping in to get one.  

Kindest thoughts coming your way.

Hi @Eve7 , just posted to your thread, so wont repeat here.

Emelia  💕

[Anastasia]

@WIP 

[WIP]

Hi friends! @Anastasia @Emelia8 @Eve7 @Appleblossom @BPDSurvivor @Sam3 

Thank you for your thoughts over the past few days. I've been up & down like a yo yo!!  No, that's not really accurate - I've been very down, with snippets of being 'okayish'.

I'd love for just a few consistent 'ok' days.

But that's one of the issues with this illness, it's very inconsistent!  
I don't sleep well at all, despite all the sedative based medication I take of an evening, and disrupted sleep has such an impact on how I manage the next day.

Anyway, I hope you are all having a good day and I'm thinking of you all.

WIP xx

[Anastasia]

@WIP sending you love ❤️

I hope that today brought some ok times x

[Appleblossom]

@WIP 

Sleep disturbances can be hell.  Its not just about implementing good sleep hygeine, tho it can help.  Its the levels of arousal that are usually trauma based.

Take Care

Apple

[BPDSurvivor]

Big hugs to you @WIP .

Although you may not feel 'the best' today, I am pleased to hear you have had snippets of 'okay'. That in itself is progress from having no 'okay' moments. You should be encouraged by these few glimpses of sunlight.

I'm not sure if being 'consistently okay' is good. That gets boring in itself. I don't think someone who is consistently okay will ever say "that's all i want". In life, we are always looking for something more. Even someone with a really awesome life will want more. Does that make any sense?

As long as you are making progress, there is something to smile about. Althought there's still a way to go, in my eyes, you have come a VERY long way, and I'm so proud of you!

BPDSurvivor

[WIP]

Yes, you're right @Appleblossom   I try my best to practise good sleep hygiene, but I know that my disrupted sleep is due to issues that I'm still dealing with.  I have dreams about past negative experiences, that I wake from all the time.  Some things going way back, and some more recent traumas.

It's very frustrating!

[WIP]

Thanks @BPDSurvivor !

I do have a very long way to go, but have made some progress from when I first posted here on the forum.  I was not in a good state at all going through that medication change.  Thankfully, the new medication I'm on hasn't given me any really bad side effects and I think it's slowly starting to work......just a little bit.  It's been 7 weeks I think, and a fortnight since the dose was bumped up.

I have my first appointment with a new psychologist in the morning via zoom.  I'm very nervous.  So worried that I'm just going to burst into tears, as I do that so, so easily.  However, the first session will probably be a bit of 'get to know each other' kind of stuff and the 50 minutes will probably go really quickly.  As per usual, I've made some notes of the main issues I'd like her to help me with, so that will be helpful.

Fingers crossed I get some sleep tonight, or I'll be very fragile for the 9am video call.

How's everything with you?  It's next week you go back into the office - right?  I bet you are looking forward to the F2F human interaction.

As always, thank you for your encouragement 

WIP xx

[WIP]

Today did actally being some snippets of 'ok', which is such an improvement on yesterday.  Y'day was a really tough day - lots & lots of tears, anxiety, irrational thoughts.

I was determined today would be a bit better, and it was. I didn't wake up with my back/ribs or a headache, which was a good start. 

Hope you are travelling along ok, and keeping busy so you don't miss your son too much @Anastasia 

Sending ❤️

WIP x