Changing meds

[WIP]

@Anastasia  I'm so tired of the leading up days to my appts with this pdoc, that are dilles

with anxiety and apprehension. He is doing me far more damage than good, my new GP Said that when I saw her last week.

he makes me feel guilty for being ill, talks down to me and doesn't 'manage' my illness, just adds to it.

He's the one who kept prescribing my AAs &

now I have a problem and because the new female pdoc I saw for one appointment went back to him and said get her into hospital and off these drugs and follow up with an addiction specialist. It's so overwhelming and I don't have money to pay for this. 
im petrified of him and just wish I could find another pdoc. But that process is so long winded. I don't have any more patience left. This pain I feel in the lead up to seeing him lasts for days and distorts my thinking & sleeping. 

[Appleblossom]

Hang in there @WIP 

If the DBT is doing good and that pdoc is part of the deal... it gets compolicated.  

My son had similar difficulties and I saw the condescending with my own eyes.

Dont give him, your very average (or less than average) pdoc .... too much power over you.  If you have to put up with it for a while til you sort out an alternative, do that.  

Of course grandkids can be great for your mother, but dont compare yourself to your sibling that way.  Your whole unique existence matters to your mum.

Apple

[Former-Member]

Hi @WIP 

I'm sorry you didn't receive my email. I have just sent it again. 

You have shown great strength in reaching out here on the Forums. I want to encourage you to reach out to Lifeline or the Suicide Call Back Service as it sounds like you are feeling really alone right now. 

You’re more than welcome to continue to post in the forums. However, if you’re concerned about your safety, it’s important to contact one of the following numbers or call 000 in an emergency.

Lifeline: 13 11 14 or Crisis Chat

Suicide call back service: 1300 659 467 or online counselling

Samaritans: 135 247

If in immediate danger: 000

Please take care of yourself and let us know if you're safe for now.

Acacia

[Anastasia]

I hear you @WIP 

Still here with you sweetheart 👂👀🙏💕🐕

[Anastasia]

I love your advice @Appleblossom 🍏🙏💕

@WIP 

🌹💕

[Former-Member]

Hi @WIP 

Thank you for replying to my email. I'm thankful to hear you are safe for now. Please take care and reach out as needed. There's always someone to listen here 🙂

[Emelia8]

@WIP .. I'm here and listening too my sweet friend.  Sorry I havent been around during the day.  Been keeping myself to myself a bit today.  But I am here for you now.  Please keep safe.  I care about you a great deal.

Emelia 🤗💓🐶

[WIP]

Thank you for your understanding @Appleblossom 

I'm trying my best not to let this pdoc have power over me, when my psych, my GP and myself don't rate that he is actually helping me. I just get so anxious and worked up in the lead up to my appts with him, I'm generally so nervous. not calm or rational when I see him, and just come away feel

worse than when I went in. I agree I need a fortnight in hospital to detox from these AAs, but don't trust he'll do it in a tapered manner and it will be hell. He has no compassion.

I want an agreed upon detox plan before booking an admission, but so fearful he'll overpower me like always. I want to go in on my terms.

I have to remember your advice and be strong and not let him have too much power over me. Hopefully it will only be short term that I am seeing him 🤞

[WIP]

I care a great deal about you too @Emelia8 

I appreciate you dropping by.

Please take care of you. x

💞💖💞

[Appleblossom]

@WIP 

It totally makes sense when you are vulnerable and needing support that pdoc infulences your rationality and you may be panicking more than you otherwise might. He is top of the MH services food chain and can have a lot of impact on your situation.  It is great you have other supports who recognise his limitations.  It bugs me when people get paid the most and they do not always deliver the most.  

I did notice as the DBT systems were set up in various private hospitals for outpatients etc, that a pdoc has a kind of gate keeper role. Its a good idea in theory. Maybe your gp should refer you to someone else sooner than later.