Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[MaryK]

Hi and thanks for the add. Short version, since cancer diagnosis in autumn (down under) I’ve had to step in as primary care for a parent who has no insight, had numerous friends cut contact due to their behaviour, and the parent has abused me physically a couple of times though usually emotionally abusive, manipulative and gaslighting, and whilst never assessed many clinicians have suspected narc and dependency traits. Prior to the diagnosis I was able to maintain firm boundaries and limit contact, but as the only family other than my teenager there’s been limited choice. I burned out, and whilst active treatment ended just before Xmas the intensity of the behaviour has increased and I’ve relapsed into burnout in addition to a flare of my trauma response. I’ve set up as many services as possible through schemes to take the pressure off me, yet the emotional abuse has continued or intensified and I don’t know what to do, and certain friends are reporting the same to me. They refuse counselling so far and I have my child and physical health issues to factor in. I don’t know if anyone has any ideas but that’s for the vent 

[tyme]

Hi @MaryK ,

Thank you for sharing. 

I sorry this is happening. 

Whatever the condition, abuse is not acceptable. 

A good place to start is probably 1800RESPECT https://www.1800respect.org.au/

They may be able to provide more insight into the situation.

I think it is important that you get the support you need so that you are then able to care for your parent. And perhaps boundary setting needs to be re-established?

Sorry, I'm not entire aware of the situation, so I can't say much. I just know that you deserve the support you need at this time.

Please take care,

tyme