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VanillaPear
Contributor

Bipolar 2 sudden break up

I’m a first timer and looking for any advice please. My boyfriend of 3 months received a bipolar 2 diagnosis and started on new medication about 5 weeks ago. About a week after his diagnosis he travelled overseas. Having recently returned he tells me he has lost his feelings for me and needs a break. Only then did he tell me he has bipolar 2.

 

Based on what I’ve read, I think he is in a low period (depressed) has lost interest in the relationship, he doesn’t know why and is pushing me away. He has also had the added stress of moving house this past week.

 

We agreed to space (I’m using this time to educate myself) but I’m not coping. I’ve told him I will support him but he doesn’t think it’s fair I wait around in case he ‘snaps out of it’, were his words.

 

Also worth mentioning, this is our second attempt at dating in 12 months. In hindsight I believe he broke up with me the first time while also in a depressed state. He wasn’t diagnosed at the time but all the symptoms and behaviours points to bipolar 2. 

How much space do I give him (we haven’t seen each other for about 1.5 weeks now, minimal contact from him) and are sudden breakups common for those living with bipolar 2? I hope this isn’t the end for us.

23 REPLIES 23

Re: Bipolar 2 sudden break up

Hi there @VanillaPear 

 

Welcome to the forums and thank you for sharing your story. I'm one of the peer workers here on the forums at Sane. It sounds like a really challenging situation you're in and I empathise with you. I probably can't offer re relationship advice with someone who has a bipolar diagnosis but I'm wondering if some of our members may be able to offer some words of wisdom @Zoe7 @Dallas @Aniela @Powderfinger @Gazza75 @Daisy15 @Appleblossom @Eve7 
@Smiling_Gecko @Mortiis

Again, welcome and I hope you get some care and support in regards to your situation.

 

Sending warm wishes

Hanami

 

Re: Bipolar 2 sudden break up

Hi @VanillaPear

Welcome to this space - my name is FloatingFeather and I am one of the peer support workers at SANE. I can read you and your boyfriend are going through a difficult and confusing time at the moment which I can empathise with. A close family member mine was diagnosed with bipolar 1 many years ago and I am one of his main carers so I have a good insight into the rollercoaster that bipolar can be.

The flat mood / depression is something that I have seen a lot with my family member.  I have also seen the mania side as well. What I can tell you is that with the right medication, professional team, family and friends bipolar can be very manageable.

I can only speak of my own lived experience but I did find my family member would push people away from him at times. I think one of the reasons he did it was he didn't want to be a burden on others (which he wasn't).

It takes time to understand and get your head around any type of diagnosis (just like it would if you had a medical diagnosis) so I think giving your boyfriend some time and space makes sense. Like you said, it is also a good time to learn a bit more about bipolar and how you may be better able to support your boyfriend. I do think it's lovely that you care so much about him that you want to understand what he is going through and help him - it speaks a lot of your caring nature.

Here is a link to more information about bipolar from our website: https://www.sane.org/spotlight-on/bipolar. I would also encourage you to get support - as someone that has cared for someone with bipolar for many years I know it can be a lonely and overwhelming place so please reach out for support from those you trust and feel safe with. Here is a link to some information to our families and carers page: https://www.sane.org/spotlight-on/families-carers.

There are many wonderful and supportive members on our forums with a lot of varied lived experience and wisdom - I look forward to seeing what they have to say 🙂

Best wishes,

FloatingFeather 

Re: Bipolar 2 sudden break up

thank you @FloatingFeather@hanami 

 

hello @VanillaPear  and welcome to the forum 

 

when my husband and I were dating he said ( oh I think we should be just friends ) this was before he was diagnosed with Bipolar 2 ( he had other MI diagnosis)

I was surprised at first and then I said "no " because I love you and I know you love me and we can get through this together 

I became his second wife and a step mum of his 4 children

we have had lots of storms along the way 

 

Like what @FloatingFeather  said --- What I can tell you is that with the right medication, professional team, family and friends bipolar can be very manageable. is very true 

and also with me , my husband wanted me involved in his treatment totally 

and I have learnt soo much and through sane too 

Re: Bipolar 2 sudden break up

Thank you @Shaz51 and hopefully with time and space he’ll be ready to chat things through more.

Re: Bipolar 2 sudden break up

Thank you @FloatingFeather, I hope he knows he isn’t a burden ❤️

Re: Bipolar 2 sudden break up

Thank you for the reply @hanami

Re: Bipolar 2 sudden break up

Hi @VanillaPear

Just wanted to check in and see how you are getting on? Hope you are okay.

Have you heard from you boyfriend in the last few days?

Best wishes,

FloatingFeather

Re: Bipolar 2 sudden break up

Thanks for checking in @FloatingFeather

I reached out to him this morning and asked if he would like to spend time together this weekend, go for a coffee or a walk. We haven’t seen each other in two weeks now, so I’m hoping he is ready to chat in person.

Re: Bipolar 2 sudden break up

I last heard from him on the weekend and we haven’t spoken all week.
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