Night Shift

[Faith-and-Hope]

Heading downstairs again now for 'lunch' at 4pm ..... that's where it's been labpnded in WH's regimen at the moment .... you can start to see how the regimen timetables our day, or we have to detach from it, leaving him with us, but abandoned .... it's a surreal sort of lifestyle, but that's what it is for now.

Walkin' him home ....

Catch you a bit later, but I will be around if you are up and want to chat ....

💗💕

[oceangirl]

I truly feel for you @Faith-and-Hope . You should see if he can reschedule some of his training and see if he can have a brunch meal and have a snack in the afternoon that way he can train after his snack.

I am not feeling tired as yet, my headache has subsided a bit after taking some headache tablets. I might still be here after you finish lunch. I am going to stay up a bit longer and then I might be able to take some more headache tablets.

My friend wanted me to drive with her tomorrow to Hervey Bay but unfortuantely not feeling up to going- too much driving in one day just over 4hrs up and 4hrs back. I need some chill time tomorrow.

[Mazarita]

Hi @oceangirl, @Faith-and-Hope and anyone else around. I'm around too, up late this Saturday night. 🙂

[Faith-and-Hope]

Hi Mazarita ..... 😊💕
Good to see you .....

Unfortunately @oceangirl, WH's Rwgimen is set in stone, and lunch is linked to his gym session, with muscle building the main objective, so lunch has to fall within a certain time frame for maximum muscle gain for the workout ..... all highly prescriptive .... and interfering with the regimen in any way causes emotional backlashes ..... can't touch it without creating King-waves .....

Have an apt to go to, but will be back later.

❤️

[Mazarita]

Woops, missed you when you posted about 25 minutes ago, @Faith-and-Hope. I was browsing the web while waiting for any notifications in the email inbox. But I think now you are probably on a mobile and it's too hard to tag so no notifications, hehe. Anyway, it you are still around, I'm in and out too. I'll be refreshing the page periodically to see if anyone's arrived until I go to bed (which may be sooner or it may be later).

That does sound hard fitting everything around your husband's schedule. I'm not familiar with the current reasons the kids have circumstantial depression/anxiety because I haven't been around much on the forums for quite some time. But I am guessing it has to do with you being overseas too. Even without troublesome family dynamics, I have found travelling overseas high on the anxiety scale. I hope you are enjoying some good times too. 

[PeppiPatty]

hello, I'm dropping in.... I'm supposed to be on a sane break but saw some of @Faith-and-Hope artwork......anyway.

I met someone in Claremont @Faith-and-Hope who is supposed to be  knowledgeable on young people coming back from being overseas.........

Can't remember his name: it was about 2010....my oldest son started big drug use after coming back from his trip to Europe for seven months. He said thst Young people feel depressed after coming back because they come back to same old: everything is fresh and new overseas and when they get back they need to feel very supported because, in my son's case he became a really professional smoker and green smoker. 

I've never liked going overseas for this reason.......

Hi gorgeous @Mazarita

[Mazarita]

@PeppiPatty, hello dear.   Glad you dropped in and we get to meet in almost real time. I'm gradually reintroducing myself into the forum but only gradually. It does feel good to have taken a big break after a long time being present on the forum just about every day. Glad to be back and around occasionally now too. 🙂

[PeppiPatty]

Dear @Mazarita

I've missed you. But I'm going for a break....dont know if you remember but I went away for  three months once and the break was very good for the soul........

If @Faith-and-Hope didn't start posting her wonderful artwork online.....I could be away right now. 

I was thinking of stopping alert mail for a month.......

So much to do, so little time to do it in. And I'm anxious as well, My husband is feral occasionally but Much better when we first met you........

So, Im going to have a break. Hope that you do well @Mazarita. Your empathy and straight down the line care will be needed.

I always liked how you are....

Blessing to you and @Faith-and-Hope......

@Faith-and-Hope @Shaz51 @Shaz51 @Former-Member @oceangirl @Decadin @TAB @artee @Soukapuss Sorry if I missed you @Appleblossom and @Jaques @lisajane Will see you soon one day xxx

[Faith-and-Hope]

You were right @Mazarita, I was on mobile and forgot to make it a tag .... whoops ❣

Hi @PeppiPatty .... 😊💕

The circumstantial depression in the kids is to do with WH's disorder .... whike e,d.'s appear to be about food, they're actually not .... they're masking something else and are all about control issues.

WH has a somewhat controlling nature, but we had to address that early in our marriage.  There is a pattern to the family dynamics, and I have seen other spouses 'reeled in' since, where the red carpet gets rolled out, they're treated like the Queen of Sheba, and nothing is too much or too difficult in this impressive stage.  

Once an emotional engagement has occurred, passive-aggressive control behaviours begin to emerge, confusing the new Sheba and causing emotional distress, whereby they are led to understand that their change of status is their fault ... and the games begin ....

The e.d. sent us spiralling back into those dark ages, and the entrapment and controlling behaviours extended to the kids.  It's been a bit rough while we worked out how to survive this thing in the best shape we can, but it has been a seven year marathon so far, alternating between treading water, and managing flare-ups.

There were so many big occasions on our landscape last year - D1 engagement, D3 18th, S2 21st, D3 graduation, D1 wedding, with all the emotional processing / non-processing going on that it felt like a year-long storm, and the kids were struggling to stay afloat under the effects of WH's spin-outs.  We realised as a team that we had to enable his regimen (at least not resist it) and let him run with it till he either wakes up or suffers some sort of burn-out .... but it ain't easy to even do that.  He's an enfant terrible, and yet we love him and don't want to sacrifice our relationships and home to this illness, any more than we have to in the course of trying to survive it.

While all that sounds awful and impossible, side by side with it we are living the most amazing experiences as he is driven to travel, explore, challenge and extend in terms of trying to capture something of the life he missed as a long-term workaholic, and in trying to meet/enable his parents' dreams for their family.

Its really very complex, so I have explained it as best I am able to.  Hopefully at least some of it is clear enough to understand.

@oceangirl, if you're still awake, it's lovely to see you recognising your boundaries and prioritising what you need, re the 8hour excursion ..... that's exactly the sort of thing WH goes for, and one reason why this holiday has been so full of adventure, and so exhausting at the same time.

[PeppiPatty]

 @Faith-and-Hope

I spin inside my front of my head just reading it.... 

But I'm going to beddy bye now, I just wanted to say nighty night to you two, @Mazarita and you @Faith-and-Hope

God Bless.

 Sweet dreams, PP