Far and Away

[Zoe7]

Thank you so much @Snowie  I need to try to get all my schoolwork done during the week so I have a relatively free weekend - otherwise I know I will not be able to write the letter nor watch the funeral. It is so hard to accept it and after talking to my psych today she confirmed what I already knew - that I was still very much in shock and not allowing myself to grieve because it is too hard. Since my grandfather died I have gotten through losing anyone by blocking it out but then it overwhelms me when I least expect it. I don't process loss well - especially when it is so painful - that is my way of coping but it is not healthy. Short term it works to get through but longer term it all piles up and that is what my psych wants to avoid so I don't 'crash' again. I do know that is where I am heading so trying to stop that before it happens is step number 1. Knowing all that is a good thing though as I can take steps to hopefully stop it - just need to know those steps first!

[Zoe7]

Just saw the image @outlander Soooo cute - thank you 

[outlander]

It reminded me of Tobes so reminded me of you @Zoe7

[Snowie]

It is good knowing you are headed down that road again, and even better that your psych and you can see it. Hoping for you that you have caught it early enough hon to slowly put those breaks on.

It is hard to process loss and even harder when it is someone extremely close to us. Even harder when it is least expected @Zoe7 

I also know that our minds can play tricks on us when it comes to reaching out for support. Please remember you have a bucket load of support here and many members that would be happy to sit here with you, me included. If that means minutes or hours we will be here for you hon.

[Zoe7]

@outlander 

I do find it hard reaching out for support @Snowie after being burnt so many times before when I have tried ...but you have always been here for me (along with others) and I do not take that lightly - and know you are here always ...that does help 

[Snowie]

@Zoe7 I find it hard reaching out for help too and can understand why it is so hard for you, especially if you have been burnt so many times before.

I know you would be here for me if I needed. You mean a lot to me hon so am happy to be here for you. I find it sometimes easier to help others, it takes my mind of my own worries.

[Zoe7]

I am the same @Snowie - helping others both takes my mind off my own worries and makes me feel uselful. It is also a way to block out my own 'stuff' so whilst that is not always the best solution it is one that works for me. You mean so much to me too Hon - just wanted you to know that 

[Snowie]

it isn't always the best solution but I know it works for me too. It makes me feel useful too, especially when my own brain is trying to tell me that I am not worth it. Such a mental battle sometimes. Helping others helps me I guess @Zoe7 

[Zoe7]

The same here @Snowie I know I have to put myself first sometimes but I find that super hard when I am at ,y worst - it is a catch-22 - if I am not doing well then helping others helps me but I can't always let others in or accept help from them ...that is most likely because so many times in the past I have asked for help at it hasn't been forthcoming - and worse still I have been completely rejected. That has not been the case on the whole here but there have still been times I have felt that and it is hard to get over ...and even harder to deal with when others have turned that pain around and made me feel like I have done something wrong in voiving my own pain. It is super hard ...thank goodness for those wonderful people here (inclucing you) who have been here for me  

[Faith-and-Hope]

Hi @Zoe7 @Snowie @outlander .... anyone else around.

Still not finished the assignment, but ended up reaching for a further extension, which was given, seeing its our mid-semester break this week.

There was nothing for it then but to tackle one of the nasty emails, whcich I have done, because it's to do with Fathers Day this weekend ..... another ball across the net 🎾

 Not how I wanted this week to be, but it's a Photoshop assignment, and I am enjoying making it, so that's somethin'.

I have been keeping one eye on this thread @Zoe7, and so glad to see you chatting with forum friends like @Snowie 💜❄️ .... and thanks for keeping me in mind too