~ The Toolshed ~

[Sparky79]

@Cuddlebear good on you for persevering through the anxiety! I had a panic / anxiety attack yesterday whilst underneath a building, so yeah I'm feeling you! I hope you have a great day too! I have the police helicopter doing circles over my house at the moment, so I'll be watching the residents page on facebook!

[Cuddlebear]

@Sparky79  I’m really glad you were able to be ok after having a panic/anxiety attack while under a building. Have the helicopters gone? I hope it wasn’t anything serious and that everything is ok. How is your day going? 

I made it through training and even got on trains today. It went well and it was nice to go out despite feeling anxious. I’m home now back to the boredom and lonely time. I’m glad these forums exist and that people are kind and understand. 

[Sparky79]

@Cuddlebear Good on you for making it through the day. Yeah I'm not a fan of lonely time, my mind fills in the silence with flashbacks and a lot of worst case scenarios.

My day has been ok, I made something on the laser engraver, I've been planning it for a few months.

It's a memento for the hospital bracelet when bubs is allowed to go home, the problem being bubs is in a condition where she may not make it, so I'm rather hesitant to show it or give it to the mother yet.

[Cuddlebear]

@Sparky79  Sparky thwt is very sad news to hear a little baby is in hospital and what sounds like a critical condition. I am honestly very sorry to learn about bubs and I hope her mother is doing as well as can be expected under these circumstances. I can’t see the picture you’ve uploaded yet I presume a moderator needs to approve but I bet the engraving is gorgeous. What a beautiful and loving idea to make something so precious. You must be good at making things like that 🙂 

Yes lonely time is not fun. It gives my mind too much catastrophe scenarios to think about and then I have no ability to do simple things. I can’t even muster making a sandwitch 

I really want these thoughts and feelings to go away. Desperate to find happiness in living and hope in the future. I have disabilities and chronic illness and most of my so called friends were only good weather friends. So like many others in the forums my days are mostly filled with isolation and it can really suck. 

Do you have an engraver at home? That sounds like a fun thing to have with many uses too. 

[Sparky79]

@Cuddlebear Yeah her mother isn't in a good place, both of them were lucky to survive. I'm sorry to hear you mind isn't nice to you either, the worst bit is our minds know all our faults, all our weak spots for maximum pain and suffering.

Yeah I've had my engraver in the garage for almost a year now. I only finished repairing it last week after some wood I was cutting decided to ignite and melt some plastic components. Thankfully the parts from China cost under $100.

[Sparky79]

[Sparky79]

[Cuddlebear]

@Sparky79   I’m a mum to an adult child now and can empathise with just how hard this must be for bub and mum. I really hope that both of them make a full recovery I really do. It must also be affecting you to and the love you’ve put into your gift tells me how much you care. 

You are very smart being able to fix stuff like that. It’s a great skill to have that’s for sure! Nice work finding parts for fixing engraver and it wasn’t hugely expensive. 

Yup our brains sure do know how to really get that anxiety going. People who’ve never experienced it often say just think happy thoughts. It drives me nuts! I’m like well if it was as easy as that don’t you think happy thoughts would have gotten rid of the anxiety thoughts and physical feelings. I appreciate your posts a lot. You’re a really beautiful human and I hope you are finding the connections here helpful. 

@Dreamy I’m not sure if you are busy today but I do hope you are OK. 

[Sparky79]

@Cuddlebear Thankyou for your kind words, You're an amazing person from all I've seen here, so thankyou for being you!

[Sparky79]