Christmas

[ArraDreaming]

Christmas has always been a really hard time for me, ever since I found my own family and started working to heal my inner child, seeing my childrens faces light up at Christmas time is so special, mending the broken parts of me that never got to experience a happy Christmas, with Santa and fun, and I’m doing that through my kids, and my partner, I think that’s so special 

but there is just still that broken part of me at Christmas that hurts and i still have memories of Christmas never being fun, being excluded from other children at school because we didn’t celebrate Christmas and then as I got older just being completley alone 

I’m still seperated from my siblings like I was back in the day 

I went with my partner and two kids to look at Christmas lights tonight, seeing my kids get so excited made me teary, and I wasn’t even sad 

this time of year is so hard, but so good and I’m so confused 

[Shaz51]

Hugs @ArraDreaming 

Soo lovely that you can start enjoying Christmas with your partner and your children , so many memories in the makings 

Soo special,  grab a whole of it all my friend 

@FloatingFeather , @hanami , @tyme 

[FloatingFeather]

The thing I have realised as I have gotten older @ArraDreaming is that we can start taking control a bit more of how our story book of life unfolds. As a child in so many ways our chapters are written for us but as you get older you can start to have a say in how your chapters unfold. 

It is understandable that you will always feel for that little boy who was hurt and felt excluded. It's also understandable that you want to help heal that little boy. The good thing is you have the power now to nurture you own children. I wasn't parented in perhaps the best way (which I, like everyone else, had no control over) but what I do have control over is how I parent my children. I try to be the parent I wish I had. I know I am probably stuffing things up on the way and that's okay because no one is perfect but I'm doing it differently then how I was raised and trying to right the wrongs of my childhood. Enjoy it as it comes and soak up what your inner child needs along the way as well.

I hope you and your family are well and you have a lovely time with your family at this time of year.

Warm wishes,

FloatingFeather

[ArraDreaming]

Thank you @FloatingFeather @Shaz51 

🥲

You are right, all I can do is my best and accept I (like everyone else) am not perfect, I think a lot about what my siblings would be doing around this time, I hope they are happy. 

My partner is amazing and so supportive, and knows that this kind of thing can be hard and tries so hard to make me feel the kind of joy at Christmas and birthdays that I never had.

I never had Santa or anything like that as a kid so we’ve been watching a heap of Christmas movies and decorated our house, just the inside 
 
On a lighter note I offered to wrap all the presents while nobody is home and it turns out I am a horrible wrapper our toddler could have done a better job than me. I got to open them all and try again, felt like it was my birthday 🤣

I really cannot wrap presents 🥴🥴

[Shaz51]

Ha ha it will take a second for the kids to unwrap the presents @ArraDreaming xx

It is soo good having a supportive partner my friend 

[ArraDreaming]

have my tough times and bad days but genuinely deep down happiest I have ever been @Shaz51 

[ArraDreaming]

@Shaz51 @FloatingFeather 
dino shortbread I made with the 5 year old 

about to go in the oven 

wish us luck 

[ArraDreaming]

 @FloatingFeather @Shaz51 

[Shaz51]

Wonderful @ArraDreaming 😋

[ArraDreaming]

They turned out great @Shaz51 all eaten the plan was to take them to Christmas Day but neither is or the kids could help ourselves 🤣