Life challenges

[Till23]

I think I have to disagree with some of what you’ve written @tyme 

I think everyone deserves compassion even if they think they don’t.

However @tyme I too feel I want to pay forward compassion that has been shown to me. I know how awful many MH struggles feel and I wouldn’t wish it on another, so if I can maybe help in a little way I’d like to try.

@Hopeandlove you are definitely not alone. You are not alone in your cancer journey, nor in your MH journey and definitely not in the feeling you don’t deserve compassion or assistance. Every session with psycho-oncology I would say I shouldn’t be here, this time should be used by someone more deserving. So I can definitely empathise with that feeling.

As @tyme says all of our journeys are different, but sometimes there are similarities which may mean others can have a deep understanding of certain parts of another’s journey. They also can provide some suggestions which usually aren’t complete solutions, but may assist with a person’s situation. Sometimes it’s to walk beside you for part of your journey. Sometimes you may lean on your fellow walkers at times and that’s ok.

[Hopeandlove]

@Snuggles I did have some support previously but when things started to get hard everyone turned their backs on me. When I needed someone the most I had noone.

I have a couple of appointments this week and I'm hoping that I can bring up the subject of getting some support. I'm not coping with the way things are, physically I'm not able to do much even going to the toilet is becoming difficult and mentally I need support before something happens. 

I have spent my day in bed, rolling over is painful and I've had to lean on the walls just to go to the toilet. I've needed a drink since this morning but I'm not able to get to the kitchen to get one. I am on so much medication and the ones I'm on for the pain seem to have stopped working or my pain tolerance has lowered. 

Thank you for showing me such kindness 💙

[Hopeandlove]

@Till23 it's hard to feel that you aren't worthy of anyone's time, that others deserve the support not yourself. 

Thank you for your kind words 💙

[Till23]

I am so sorry to hear about your current struggles @Hopeandlove 

You may qualify for many types of assistance for your situation.

Another place you can get advice and assistance is the Cancer Council https://www.cancercouncil.com.au/get-support or 13 11 20.

They also have an online community. 
I don’t want to overwhelm or flood you with information, but I am happy to provide information if I can but if it’s too much please just say so.

[Snuggles]

@Hopeandlove 

That sounds familiar. Unfortunately, in Western society, we often fall short in supporting those facing life-threatening illnesses or mental health struggles. I've come across so many posts here from people who are overwhelmed and exhausted, yet going through it alone.  Maybe people think they'll say the wrong thing. 🤔 

I'm glad you have appointments this week. Please be completely honest about how much you're struggling. Let them know that even getting to the bathroom is difficult and that being confined to bed makes something as simple as getting a drink of water a challenge.

Take things one step at a time. The fact that you've made it this far, despite everything, shows incredible strength.

I'm off to bed but I hope others can keep you company tonight if you can't sleep.  Speak soon.

Peace, love and strength. 🫠

Snuggles x

[Hopeandlove]

@Till23 thanks for the suggestions so far. I'll look into them when I have the energy to. Today has been another hard day, bed, toilet, and having a few sips of water other than that I've been out of it most of the day. 

[Hopeandlove]

@Snuggles I know there's support out there but it's not something that has been offered to me and talking up and asking for it is not something I'm comfortable doing. 

I'm not sure how I'm going to get to my appointment this week as physically I'm not strong enough to walk or go out anywhere. This is my second day in bed where I have only been able to go to the toilet and back to bed, I was able to get to the kitchen to get a glass of water today and I've had a few sips but not always able to keep it down. 

Thank you for the support 💙

[Till23]

I am so sorry to hear you’ve had another bad day @Hopeandlove 

Please try to keep your fluids intake up.

Remember you can call an ambulance and go to hospital if you are unable to drink or eat, are in pain etc etc

From what I’ve seen you write on the forums, I think I get the impression that you find reaching out for any kind of assistance difficult. However, from what you are writing in the last couple of days, you definitely qualify for assistance just from the physical symptoms alone.

The cancer council is very good for different types of assistance. They also offer transport assistance to get to appointments.

 I, for one, am very concerned about you and that’s aside from any mental health considerations.

Do you have a GP, you could do a Telehealth appointment with?

[Hopeandlove]

@Till23 I'm trying to have small sips regularly but it often comes straight back up. Keeping medication down hasn't happened for the past couple of days so that's not helping pain wise. My fear is that if I go to hospital I won't make it out again. Chemotherapy is not an option at the moment as my body isn't strong enough so that's really throwing a spanner in the works. 

Thank you for your concern, it's scary how fast my health has deteriorated over the past few days. I have a phone appointment with my GP tomorrow afternoon and I will let them know what's been going on. 

[Till23]

I am so glad you have a GP phone consult tomorrow @Hopeandlove 

Please try to be as honest as possible with what is going on for you. Perhaps you could make a list before the appointment.

 I’m sure you realise that not being able to keep any food or fluid down is not helping with your strength for chemo 

However there are many medications for gut problems like nausea and vomiting etc

Do you have anyone nearby that can assist you even with a bit of shopping or picking up medication from chemist?

Oncology departments are very good at helping people to get strong enough for chemo, for pain management etc. They also realise people would prefer to be at home if possible. I know of many people who have had short admissions just to get symptoms under control so they can be comfortable at home.