Lived Experience Forum

[Former-Member]

Hey all passing. Just sitting here reflecting on how far I have come in my mental health journey and safe to say I’m feeling good. Things are getting better day by day. But will they ever be perfect? Not sure at this stage

just wanted to hear some inspiring stories from people on here who are on top of their mh journey and who are doing alright considering or even thriving…and don’t be modest 😂 

hoping to hear something positive thanks

[StuF]

I might share later @Former-Member 

But I really just wanted to say "Well done you" for coming so far. I don't know much about your journey, but if you're in a good place with your MH, then excellent!

(Just quickly on the "perfect" thing...my take on that is that there might be (hopefully are) moments that feel like that, but, since life keeps on keeping on, they will be impermanent...and that is not a 'bad' thing...)

[Patchworks]

Hi @Former-Member 

I don't have a miraculous positive recovery story but from a mental illness perspective, I am travelling fairly well lately. For example, over the recent 5 weeks I have only had 1 day off work for mental health reasons and much less anxiety than previously. I work more or less full time and share the care for my 2 children. I'm not going to say everything is always rosy, it isn't but I'm staying out of hospital and coping with most things. It's difficult to know what recovery will look like when I am unwell. I know that I have recovered from my most recent episode but I didn't get back to 100% of the functioning I used to be at. I make mistakes more often and forget stuff. Anyway  it's great that you are feeling better lately and keep doing whatever works for you 

[spiralz]

I'm not quite "there" yet, and anxiety is still wrecking my lifestyle & driving away potential friendships.

*But* I have noticed my dissociation getting much better this year. My identity is settling, and I'm spacing out into my alternate persona less - I feel more whole & integrated every day. Instead of immediately zoning out, I have more manageable anxiety symptoms, like nausea and panic. This week, I not only had an actual outward panic attack for the first time in months, but I cried & released my emotions instead of becoming aggressive.

I finally have strong support from work to take days off for mental health instead of overworking myself, and I have enough headspace to seek counselling to address my (chaotic) office hours instead of hoping I can fix them on my own. I've sacrificed career growth to stabilise my self-confidence by working through routine tasks instead of exciting ones, but it was the right decision to make, and I feel like I'm on a pathway to being *healthy* instead of hurtling towards the burnout I experienced in my last job.

When I do have mental health issues - like the unexpected brainfog I'm having today - I find it easier to process them and move on, I don't beat myself up as much. I can accept that today won't be as productive as I thought, and that's okay. If I have intrusive thoughts, I can observe them, and know that they are not me. I feel somewhat self-assured.

I am transitioning (mtf), and after my voice feminisation surgery this year I'm starting to feel at peace with myself and my social identity. I don't completely pass, but I am very androgynous, non-masculine, non-threatening, and I'm happy with that. I'm comfortable using my preferred name in conversation now, and while the feminine aspect of my identity is still underdeveloped, I can see it improving with socialisation - I can see an end to my transition. I have different affirmative procedures planned for the next few years (hips, waist, face, reassignment), and I think that once they're over, I might finally be me, and I can leave the traces of "him" behind. I'll be 29 by the time I'm finished, but I'm still excited to experience the rest of my youth with a body I can feel comfortable in. If I'm very lucky, I'll get natural or adopted children to care for in middle age.

Routine is something else I've improved this year. I used to find it very hard to do my teeth, skincare, eat breakfast, etc, in the morning, but I've managed to do all of them consistently for at least six months now. It's not a huge ritual, but it keeps me healthy, it anchors my days, and it helps provide a barrier between my private & public life.

I'm a mess right now, but I'm much less of a mess than I have been. I feel like I might have a chance to thrive in a few more months, and be able to start  going to bars & events as myself after my FFS (~2024). Things aren't great, but they're a lot better than they used to be ❤

[tyme]

Thank you for sharing @spiralz . What an incredible journey. Hope is definitely on your side 🙂

[Former-Member]

I wrote some stuff @spiralz @but the page got deleted hope you do you and don’t worry about people do what makes you happy, I got something worse than anxiety but I work and try my best to socialize and it shows, I’ve had too many toxic situations and I prefer my own company these days I don’t know how I do it tbh and my memory isn’t as good as it used to be but I’m surviving these days but hope to thrive so yeah take everything with a grain of salt you LL be fine all the best itsjustme1