Lived Experience Forum

[sara74]

I had friends, or at least I thought I had them. Until one of them attempted to slander me, and others believed him.
Today I reread his messages in our group chat, and I see the reason why their attitude towards me was strange. He told everybody I've slept with him which I did not, I am married. 

And I realise it just now after a few months of medication and good sleep, the actual content of his lies. I can't believe people would believe him, what he said. I am way too naive. 

I thought I was transparent as a person, and honest. I just CAN'T believe. 

[floaty_potato]

What an awful thing for someone to say. Did you correct him in the group chat?

Your friends are acting like a group of school kids. Sounds like you would be better off making some mature friends who don't react this way to gossip.

[sara74]

"Did you correct him in the group chat?"

No, it was a while ago, not recently. I'm a slowpoke, and not sure if it'll make things better or worse...

"Sounds like you would be better off making some mature friends who don't react this way to gossip."

I agree with you, totally. @floaty_potato 

[floaty_potato]

Do you still hang out with these friends?

[sara74]

---

@floaty_potato wrote:

Do you still hang out with these friends?

---

No. They were just online friends for me, like this chat. Never met anyone of them in real life. I just liked talking to them online, that's all. The whole situation is weird. 

[floaty_potato]

Ah ok. You never know what you're going to get online. 

I made new friends by learning hobbies and going to tafe. Takes time, but you can meet some fantastic people like that. 

[chibam]

Hi @sara74 . I can relate to the sting of defamation - especially from so-called "friends" - it's done no end of dammage to me, my life and my legacy.

Unfortunately, it also seems to be one of the most difficult (read: practically impossible) problems to fix, as once the negative depiction of you takes root in the communal mind, people just seem to want to perpetuate and reinforce that depiction.

I wish I could offer you some helpful advice, but the truth is I never managed to find a solution to that problem myself. I've come to suspect that the only real solution is to be relocated into a completely new community, but that requires you to have the opportunity to do such a thing, doesn't it?

[sara74]

@chibam @floaty_potato  thank you for your advice. 

[sara74]

---

@chibam wrote:

Hi @sara74 . I can relate to the sting of defamation - especially from so-called "friends" - it's done no end of dammage to me, my life and my legacy.

---

I'm sorry that you went through that.

[chibam]

Likewise, @sara74 .

And Thanks!