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sara74
Contributor

DID?

It seems I have alters, or split personality, I don't know. While in psychotherapy a few years ago, I discovered different "parts" of me. I didn't name them because I still can't believe I might have the disorder... Am I in denial? I don't know.

 

Who lives inside me? Traumatized 3-year-old and 10-year-old, they both are emotionally needy due to their traumas. And also there is a 16-year-old, which is very sensual, hypersexual, or, I should say, having lots and lots of libidinal energy. Sshe has strong longings for someone she doesn't even know whom... It's almost euphoric to be her. I mean, when she takes control of me, it's fantastic, but then I "wake up" and regret some of those impulsive decisions.

 

And, there is the Protector. He is around 40, always frowning, very mature and powerful. He swears and smokes, that's how I imagine him, though I've never smoked. I normally do not swear. He protects all the children and especially the 16-year-old because she tends to put us all to trouble...

 

And there's me, the host. The funny thing is, I don't know how to describe myself. I mean, my true self. And that upsets me the most

8 REPLIES 8

Re: DID?

hi @sara74 im sorry there hasnt been any replies till now. i dont have DID but i wondered if @Former-Member @Maggie (im so sorry if i got you guys wrong here)could maybe share some advice or relate to what your going through

Re: DID?

Hi @outlander , 

 

It's okay if there is no reply because I created the post when my medication was settling in still ... So, my past psychotherapy experience seemed like something very unusual. It seems now I had delusions at the time, so it's okay. Thank you for your reply. 🙂

Re: DID?

im sorry you were suffering delusions @sara74
how are you going more recently?

Re: DID?

Getting better, slower than I'd prefer, but still getting there! Thanks for asking @outlander . 🙂

Re: DID?

im glad your getting better @sara74 sometimes recovery can be slower then we would want. baby steps are good too.
im usually around if you need anyone to talk to and your welcome to tag me
BraveOne
Senior Contributor

DID?

Thanks for bravely speaking about this and  introducing those inside . It's really an honour to meet You all. 

I do have DID and have questioned for a long time  if this is true since it was diagnosed.lve lived years trying to be just One person however it does work better acknowledging everyone and developing better relationships with them all. 

At times when it's quiet l like to think it's not real however this just alienates people inside. I didn't realise  how hurtful it was until they began telling me they feel invisible. This upset me even more. The truth is when it's quiet no one is being triggered and my body is in a calmer state.

It's easy to feel lost and unknown too amongst all the others. Remember they are all part of You and moments when You weren't there  they were.

There are many therapeutic modalities that work with 'parts'  however  my sense is DID is different. I never had to name the parts as they told me their names  and my whole presentation would change when one of them was in charge of the body and l'd lose time. Sometimes l'd have no idea they were doing things in the world until l'd see photos or a friend would tell me about the night our or l'd see my bank statement. 

It's not a black n white thing either and varies how it shows up in different people. 

 

Re: DID?

"There are many therapeutic modalities that work with 'parts'  however  my sense is DID is different."

 

Thank you so much for your reply, @BraveOne . Yes, you are right, my former therapist and I worked with so called Inner Child, and other parts that might be called Anima, Animus etc. That's Jung stuff, adopted by many integrative therapists. 🙂

 

 

Re: DID?

Hi, I've only just joined. Sorry can't help you much as I'm not sure if I have DID, it makes me cry. But just wanted to say Hi.
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