14th year house bound

[Jacques]

Hey Karen it just so happens i do have a spare sleeping bag and hot water bottle, you are welcome anytime.

 tomorrow i will send some more pics of the animals, they are all so cute, i can and do watch them all day.

I am so happy to see you giving a little joke tonight, you and i seem to like wildlife, don't we, i hope their is plenty at your new home my angel, i would love to hear about them.

Make sure you give teddy a hug for me tonight, will speak tomorrow.

sleep well my angel, or at least rest well.

[hiddenite]

Hi Jacques
sorry I haven't been around but for some reason I haven't been able to get onto the sane sight.

no walk today.....too cold and wet ....its freezing. .... there is more snow on the mountains.

I hope you are keeping warm.

the photo is beautiful you know I prefer animals to people.

Thinking if you j
karen

[Jacques]

Yes i have had trouble too sometimes, just sane i think.

Oh no i am sorry Karen, i hope you are managing to keep warm.

I will send some more pics this afternoon.

Take care my angel, the afternoon is going quick

Jacques

[hiddenite]

Hi Jacques

I have to take the girls to the paedatrician today so lots of driving.
On Monday my youngest feel from the play equipment at school. The teacher's wouldn't let her get up or move because they were worried she had broken her back. Fortunately she was only bruised.

Yesterday she fell off the same play equipment and sprained her ankle. She is hopping around at home.

She also has croup which means longs nights for me.
She gets croup every three weeks its been like that for two years. The doctors don't kniw why and it affects her breathing she sometimes goes blue ib the face.

anyway thats me.

tomorrow is a two hour trip so the girls can see their psychologist.

Just another week.

I hope you are doing ok. I think we need a week if nothing but sun.
take care
karen

[Jacques]

Hi Karen,

Oh yes the joys of rural Australia, to go anywhere takes a long time.  oh no they joys of being a kid hey? oh the poor thing, hopping around, i hope she gets better soon.

oh my gosh that sounds serious, it may be related to stress or anxiety, so she has had it since her father died? since all the upheval? my mother, when she gets stressed or anxious she starts throwing up, she can't stop, it is horrible.  well i suppose all you can do is make sure she is as comfortable as possible.

oh my Karen, i suppose on the up side you will hae a change of scenery i hope all goes well with the girls at their appointment.

yes i had to go to town today, seems to hapen more and more, anyway i saw another person i used to know, oh what a week, sweating, shaking, numbness, drowseyness.

yes a nice warm week would be nice.

take care my angel

Jacques

[hiddenite]

Hi Jacques

Yes going to town sure poses it's problems. I feel like that just taking the girls to school. So difficult to avoid people.

I wish it could be easier, I get overwhelmed so easily. Even just speaking to the girls pediatrician is such an effort.

How's the coffee going J, have you managed to cut down or are you still enjoying a few.

I'm not doing so well with the chocolate, it is completely bizarre that I have never eaten chocolate until being put on the new medication I can't get enough of it.

Not good for the weight. Just makes me more depressed.

I bet you are wrapped in your sleeping bag by now with a hot water bottle, I wish I could close my eyes. Exhausted.....

My eldest daughter has acute anxiety and when she gets stressed she dry retches and vomited. Makes me feel so helpless even when she hyperventilating and I can't understand what she is trying to tell me. So sad for a 9 year old to have such serious symptoms.

My 6 year old gets so angry at me she lashes out and punches me. The group is caused by anxiety and also is serious because it affects her breathing.

So what I battle every day is nothing compared to my girls. I feel so guilty if I had only left him the girls wouldn't have these awful problems.

Are you still doing work on the house J or just having a bit of a break.

Take care

Karen

[Jacques]

Hi KAren i have some more photos of the breeds of animals in the farm next door, their is a pig, she is so funny, she is always rolling around in the mud so you will have to imagine this pig covered in mud from head to toe.

and their are 7 hens and 1 rooster, the rooster starts crowing at 5 am and does not stop until 4 pm, one day he is going to be sunday dinner!!!!!

and their are some sheep too, but i am sure you can picture them, so that is what is across the road from my house, i watch them every day, they help me break the monotany of each day with their antics.

i hope you and the girls are having a good night, even with the hopping

i hope your little girl gets some sleep tonight without any problems. and you manage some rest.  you are really a great mum, i went to town 2 times this week and i am exhausted, i remember a time when i could go to town every day of the week, no problem, now i leave the house once and i am so tired.

well my angel if i don't speak to you tonight i will speak to you tomorrow, make sure you have a safe trip to the girls psyciatrist.

Jacques

[Jacques]

Hi My angel,

yes it must be tough for you, i can decide not to go somewhere but you have to go.  you are doing well.

no, not managing to cut back on the coffee, still on 10 cups a day, maybe one day i will manage to cut down to 9.  you have got me onto chocolate now, i am eating some dark lint chocolate with strawberry,  i am putting on weight too, but have lost interest in caring.

yes i am all wrapped up, i wish you could get some rest, you poor thing, i know how exhausting getting through the day is.

Karen i am so proud of you getting your little girls some help, i wish my parents had got me help at their age, by not getting help i have ended up this way.  you need to make sure they get all the help they can, you are doing a great job, i am so proud of you getting them help, i understand how helpless it is, i feel the same about you, i wish their was something i could say to take away your pain.

your youngest, is only lashing out, out of frustration, i used to do the same, it can be so frustrating and confusing at that age, i know it was for me.  you are getting her help, you should not feel guilty you did all you could to protect them.  all you can do now is get them the best care possible, make sure their future is bright, and they have a wonderful adult hood with the tools and skills necessary to navigate their lives.

No i was too tired today but i am hoping tomorrow to plant another shrub and lay 4 more pavers to finish them off. might help take my mind off this weeks events.

i hope you manage some rest tonight, i hope your girls have a better night.

[hiddenite]

Jacques the photos are so awesome.

You are so lucky not about the rooster though. At our home the collaborate start at 5 and go all day. Not as bad as a rooster though.

Wow that is a lot of coffee, it's a wonder you can sleep at all j.

I'm glad you are wrapped up... 

The girls love your photos too. My youngest loves all animals and brings her so much joy.

Have a good rest J

Karen

[Jacques]

Thats great my angel,

i will try to post a picture of an animal every day, i hope it helps them with their anxiety.

i know it is a lot of coffee, but it is all i have, i only drink coffee and water.  not to mention i can't stand the withdrawles from the cafeen.

i am hoping the frogs come back soon, their little home awaits them, if they do i will post a pic.